I finished a storyboard for a short film and I wanted to know what criticisms people had for it... okay it is hard to crit. without the text with it. I will add that as soon as possible. The first shot is a long truck shot, until it reverses back to the beach.
How can I make this a stronger film?
Thanks for taking a look.
www.monkeycoop.com
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Don't do nothing because you can't do everything.
haha. i like it.
Made sense to me.
The only thing that I do not get is how does the little kid get lured in with the pizza? The pizza was shown landing next to 2 grown ups on a beach. then when it gets reeled in its the little kid.
"who wouldn't want to make stuff for me? I'm awesome." -Bloo
would it help if I added in a shot of the kid watching something arc overhead, and then it landing on the beach? I want it to be a suprize that the child is the one that grabs it, but maybe I need to remind the viewer about the kid.
the first shot is a long truck shot starting at the beach and finally plunging into a wave. This is the text that I need to add for the first. The rest is mostly shot by shot. Except the first several boards.
Note to self, must find time to add text!
Don't do nothing because you can't do everything.
Oh, and thanks both of you for looking.
Don't do nothing because you can't do everything.
... Maybe it does need text. They measure the child. I live right next to the ocean and I see this scene all the time with the crab fishmen guys. I crab has to be so many inches long by so many inches wide to be a "keeper" the guys look devestated when the catch is too small and have to chuck it back into the ocean. many times the catch doesn't survive the fling back into the water. At least the toddler does!
Don't do nothing because you can't do everything.
Great storyboard, and pretty clear once we realize the kid is getting measured. I like the harmless ending--not just because I'm a dad, but because it's funnier. I also love the reaction shots on the sharks. That could work with or without dialog.
This sounds terrific and funny. I bet it will work great as a finished animation.
Cartoon Thunder
There's a little biker in all of us...
could you maybe outline whats going on ? because its hard to understand whats going on and how the camera is moving?
like the first shot for instance. whats going on there?
are you going to cold open or do you have some kind of a lead in or establishing shot?