Stewie: You know Brian, just because you can't feel your teeth doesn't mean the girl can't feel your insults.
Stewie has shrunk himself and inserted himself into Peter's body to kill sperm. He doesn't want a little brother until he meets his match--his sperm brother who looks and acts like him.)
Stewie: You hate Lois? I hate Lois too! What, what else do you hate?
Sperm Bro: People who send pictures of their families as Christmas Cards!
Stewie: People who use the word "guesstimate."
Sperm Bro: Guys who wear sandals with socks!
Stewie & Sperm Bro in unison: JASON PATRICK! (flap hands effiminently, jump up and down and say "EWWWW!" together).
(Doorbell rings)
Chris: Matthew Mcconaughey?
Matthew Mcconaughey: Yeah, I'm lookin' for a guy named Stewie--
(Arrow hits him in the eye)
Matthew McConaughey: OWWWWW!
Stewie: Chris, grab his legs! I've gotta bury this thing!
Chris: But I--
Stewie: GRAB HIS LEGS!!!
BUGS: Why, I'm in the pink.
Yeah, I'm an athlete.
I've got an athlete's fizzy-queue.
Sure, I've got an athlete's legs.
Certainly. I even got athlete's foot!
[Porky Pig and Speedy Gonzalez chat in the cafeteria.] Porky: Eh, f-first they tell me to lose the stutter. Now they tell me I'm not funny! [sighs] It's a pain in the butt, being p-p-p-politically correct. Speedy: You're telling me.
Bugs: Nice of Wal-Mart to provide these Wal-Mart beverages in retoin for us saying "Wal-Mart" so many times.
[After Elmer Fudd leaps out of La Grande Jatte (by pointillist Georges Seurat), Bugs reads to him from a museum guide.] Bugs: Pointillism. A technique using individual dots of pigment, which, taken together… [Bugs whips out a pocket electric fan.] Bugs: … make an image. [He turns on the fan. Elmer's dots start to disperse.] Elmer: Oh, cwud! [Bugs turns to the audience.] Bugs: I think, when you go to the movies, you should learn something.
Announcer: The beloved Disney classic is going away.
[ footage of Bambi's mom being shot ] Announcer: Walt Disney's "Bambi" is going into the Disney vault for ten years, depriving your child or future children of a significant emotional milestone.
[ footage of Bambi's mom being shot ] Announcer: After May 27th, Bambi will be taken out of stores, placed in a security box, and frozen next to Walt Disney's head.
I sure hope this one hasn't been posted before, but here goes -
Peter Griffin: "Look, there's a message in my Alpha-Bits. It says "Oooooo!"
Brian Griffin: "Peter, those are Cheerios."
MORE FAMILY GUY
Stewie: You know Brian, just because you can't feel your teeth doesn't mean the girl can't feel your insults.
Stewie has shrunk himself and inserted himself into Peter's body to kill sperm. He doesn't want a little brother until he meets his match--his sperm brother who looks and acts like him.)
Stewie: You hate Lois? I hate Lois too! What, what else do you hate?
Sperm Bro: People who send pictures of their families as Christmas Cards!
Stewie: People who use the word "guesstimate."
Sperm Bro: Guys who wear sandals with socks!
Stewie & Sperm Bro in unison: JASON PATRICK! (flap hands effiminently, jump up and down and say "EWWWW!" together).
(Doorbell rings)
Chris: Matthew Mcconaughey?
Matthew Mcconaughey: Yeah, I'm lookin' for a guy named Stewie--
(Arrow hits him in the eye)
Matthew McConaughey: OWWWWW!
Stewie: Chris, grab his legs! I've gotta bury this thing!
Chris: But I--
Stewie: GRAB HIS LEGS!!!
Follow @chaostoon on Twitter!
Daffy Duck says this in the short with the abombinable snowman:
"I'm not like other people; pain hurts me."
Get some "Good Advice" at http://www.decksawash.net
BUGS: Why, I'm in the pink.
Yeah, I'm an athlete.
I've got an athlete's fizzy-queue.
Sure, I've got an athlete's legs.
Certainly. I even got athlete's foot!
frame-by-frame ex-animations:
http://classiccartoons.blogspot.com/2006/04/tortoise-wins-by-hare.html
http://classiccartoons.blogspot.com/2006/04/tortoise-wins-by-hare-here-we-go-again.html
LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION
[Porky Pig and Speedy Gonzalez chat in the cafeteria.]
Porky: Eh, f-first they tell me to lose the stutter. Now they tell me I'm not funny! [sighs] It's a pain in the butt, being p-p-p-politically correct.
Speedy: You're telling me.
Bugs: Nice of Wal-Mart to provide these Wal-Mart beverages in retoin for us saying "Wal-Mart" so many times.
[After Elmer Fudd leaps out of La Grande Jatte (by pointillist Georges Seurat), Bugs reads to him from a museum guide.]
Bugs: Pointillism. A technique using individual dots of pigment, which, taken together… [Bugs whips out a pocket electric fan.]
Bugs: … make an image. [He turns on the fan. Elmer's dots start to disperse.]
Elmer: Oh, cwud! [Bugs turns to the audience.]
Bugs: I think, when you go to the movies, you should learn something.
Follow @chaostoon on Twitter!
GRANDPA: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.
See signature. (Well, it's not funny per se, you've got to hear it.)
(Edit)
(Oh, you can.)
(http://www.robotdeathmonkey.com/zim/media/bucket.mp3)
Announcer: The beloved Disney classic is going away.
[ footage of Bambi's mom being shot ]
Announcer: Walt Disney's "Bambi" is going into the Disney vault for ten years, depriving your child or future children of a significant emotional milestone.
[ footage of Bambi's mom being shot ]
Announcer: After May 27th, Bambi will be taken out of stores, placed in a security box, and frozen next to Walt Disney's head.
watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMxmAaxBRBQ
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