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Pilot animation clip

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Pilot animation clip

Hey everybody-
I'm animating a pilot that I've been working on with a producer for a little bit now...and I've got one squence completed so far...Let me know what you think! All critques welcome!

http://www.collegeuniv.com/EggSequence.mov

Note: Sound hasn't been added yet, and Im currently working on the chicken losing some feathers...

mikeparker's picture
www.collegeuniv.com

Well you know what I think about your short Mike :D How's it coming? I hope I wasn't too hard on you and scare you away.

Aloha,
the Ape

...we must all face a choice, between what is right... and what is easy."

I take on ALL your critiques Ape!! Bring it on!!!!

It's going good- honestly, your notes are a life saver! I've got to find some more time today at work to clean up the rest of it and I should be good to go. I'll post it again and let you know asap...

I think the toughest part is figuring out how to fix the transition from the boot scene to the first "roll down" scene. I'll try to add the slope to the ramp in the boot scene and see if it works...

the one thing that really stands out as stylistically different is the chicken. Everything else is either made with a colored line, or has not line at all. The chicken has a black line around it which separates it from the rest of the world is resides in. Don't know if that is intentional, but it's defintitely something I would change.

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Thanks- Yeah I completely know what you mean...The thing about that is my characters in the cartoon have always had the black line, and I tend to create any of the BGs or props without the line...so it definitely does stand out being that it's the only "living" character in this clip...Hopefully once the sequence is complete (With my other characters in it etc) the chicken won't look so out-of-place...

If the chicken still looks strange, I'll try a version with the black line removed...I'm currently cleaning up some of the timing and small details in the clip thanks to Ape's notes he gave me earlier...

I think the toughest part is figuring out how to fix the transition from the boot scene to the first "roll down" scene. I'll try to add the slope to the ramp in the boot scene and see if it works...

I quick easy fix might be to frame in closer and to the left on that boot scene. That way the ball goes off scene, you hold a beat, then cut to the next scene. That pause will give it some breathing room and make if feel like the ball is now at a different section of track. It might work. Might not. Also if you frame in and to the left enough you might be able to slow the ball down a bit and still have it go off screen.

I have my red pen ready and waiting! :P

Aloha,
the Ape

...we must all face a choice, between what is right... and what is easy."

Oohhh...I like that idea ape, thanks.

I'll try that one first and see how it goes. I should have some time to work on it this afternoon....

Get that red pen ready!

2 Things:
An outside force is needed to make that boot kick.
I like the chcken.

2 Things:
An outside force is needed to make that boot kick.
I like the chcken.

I love this forum. You don't hear things like that very often. :)

It's fun. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. I didn't notice that the boot needed something to get it started, but now it really stands out. What stood out from the start is the boot looks like it's completely missing the ball or not enough energy is being transferred to it from the boot. And why isn't it swinging back? The kick itself just looks odd. I get what it's supposed to be doing (rolling over, or brushing the ball, right?) but it just looks odd, even if logically it's doing the right thing.

I like the backgrounds, and I'll hold judgement on the chicken until I see the other characters. It may need a little more shading to match the style of the bgrnd elements.

My 2 cents. I'm looking forward to more.

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