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Scared to death - dialogue clip

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Scared to death - dialogue clip

Hey all, I just finished my entry for the 10 second club this month, and I'd love your (yes, you!) feedback on it. Check it out here



Hey, thanks SL! I agree with the beginning. I really need to rethink how to handle that whole move, as it doesn't seem to be reading as well as I'd like. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to submit as is, since I won't have the time to fix it up till early May.

Can I ask what your render settings are like? And how the lighting is setup in this shot? And doesn't the taller guy remind you of Jay Mohr?

And don't take this the wrong way, but comparing clips between the first post at the end of Feb and this one shows a tremendous growth in sensibility of movement. Especially when it sounds like you don't have great amounts of free time, I'm impressed with how quickly you've learned...

Yeah, come to think of it he does look like Jay Mohr. That wasn't intentional though. :)

For my render settings, I rendered this at 640x480 with Maya renderer set at Production quality and 2d motion blur. For the lights, There's a blue key light coming from the top right and 2 purplish fill lights from the top left and bottom left, and 1 blue back light. Nothing complex to set up...

I'm glad you think I've improved since then... I did a lot more planning on this one than I have in the past, and having a rig with full facial controls always helps sell the acting more than the model I used for my February clip.



great job

Well done David B! I really like how you didn't have the short guy gesture for almost every word he says. That seems common in 3d and I'm glad you haven't fallen into that habit. I just have one question. The short guy's left eye seems to have a weird red thing on it that appears and disappears as he looks around. I didn't notice it when I saw it on aol but when I opened up in IE I saw it since the viewing screen is larger.

Good luck in the competition! You put my entry to shame, lol. :D

"Animation isn't about how well you draw, but how much to believe." -Glen Keane

for some reason I didn't get the feeling that the guy was scared to death. maybe if you hunch him over a bit?

Hey Mew,

Yeah, the red thing is a mess up with the shader in Maya. It's supposed to be the veins in the guy's eyes but the procedural texture wasn't set to local so it's sliding around the eyeball as the eyeball rotates. :( I'm gonna have to fix it a bit later when I get to fixing up the anim.


Awsome work David. I really love that Forest BG, great colors. I'm going to be picky since most of it is really good, these little things will make it that much better.

Anyway, I'm going to agree with the other about the begining. It looked alittle strange to me, and then I went frame by frame and I think I figure out why. After the skinny guy feels around for his friend, this is what happens:
He doesn't anitic befor he turns. Then he turns to his opposite 3/4 with his leg up. Then he antics back still with his leg up. Then he steps to hide behind his short friend. And here's what I'd recogmend to fix things.

I'd move the skinny guy closer so he doesn't have to take a step, that way he can start feeling for his friend sooner, make contact earlier, and hold that contact longer so the viewer can register it better. I forgot to mention that part up above.

Then I would have him antic up and toward screen left, and turn him slightly to around a front view.

Then have him cover more ground when he moves so that he hides more behind his friend than to the side. Remember you made him scared of something off to screen left, so he's gonna want to get as far away from that as he can. This will sell that he's scared better. Then when the short guy shrugs him off, he can step to where you have him and I thing the rest works from there. Oh, I also think it would read better if when he does hide behind his friend, he didn't look at him, so his head turns back toward screen left. This will show even more that he is scared of something and doesn't want to take his eyes off of it, or keep looking for it.

Just a whole lot of nit picky stuff David. As it is, it works really good, but those nit picky thing will just make it that much stronger and sell the emotions better. I really like how he kind of slinks off backwards at the end. Very nicely done.

the Ape

...we must all face a choice, between what is right... and what is easy."

Fabulous analysis. I didn't even call it, the lack of anticipation. I also think it makes good sense to avoid what he's scared of and not taking his eyes off -- it's almost too reliant on conscious thought when he's supposed to be hyperaware and alert out of fear -- though using his friend as a shield would require the friend to be not looking but still rotating his head back more (to gesture "I'm meaning to talk at/to you still").... And maybe a bit more quick-jittered, almost light prance-like escaping out of the shot.

I know it's all said and done, but I always think it's good to discuss these things for The Next Time...good practical application of staging principles here.

It really is a great movie.

A few questions for you Scattered. Do you know what movie that clip is from? Did you also design and model the characters? They're great. I really like how the short guy has that kind of crooked smile. Great stuff. Let us know if you win.

the Ape

...we must all face a choice, between what is right... and what is easy."

Thanks a bunch for the detailed crit, Ape... I'm gonna try and get to fixing that beginning action this month and see if I could do it on time. I only have like 3 days left! :eek:

To answer your questions, the clip is from Arachnophobia. I did model and design the characters, mostly for another clip I've been planning on doing outside of the 10 second club, but once I modeled the short guy, I realized he wouldn't be too good for the clip I have planned so back to the drawing board for that clip. I'm glad you liked them, though. :)

Thanks for everyone for taking the time to look at it! It's really getting me motivated to fix it up.


The timing for character reactions is really intuitive, and the eye animation is some of the best I've ever seen on 10SC. Here's to you doing well. Rendered nicely too. If I had to say one thing it's that his touch-shoulder-then-hop move feels a little akward, almost like there'd be more of a feeling-around for his friend (but nominal, like fractions of a second) and more emphasis on the repositioning, since he starts on the same plane and winds up behind him.

No worries though, it's almost perfect in how well the scene seems unified. I
especially like the short guy's facial expressions in the space between "...we all are," and "but our brains..." Searching for the words is hard to get just right and you absolutely nailed it, especially as a transitional move.