When we focus on how well others might be doing as we face the inevitable challenges of our own job pursuits, we’re taught that it is politically correct to temper our feelings at any cost. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to get angry, blow off steam and rage a little. The important thing to remember is to get it out of your system and then to move on.
When we punish ourselves for fear of not getting a job we want, losing the one we have or build up resentment towards those who have jobs we want, we are not allowing ourselves to move forward productively and to prevail in our own job search. It’s important to focus our anger constructively and not destructively. We need to vent, gripe, kick, scream, and then let go. Holding onto resentment is an excuse for not focusing on what is important to you and to allow yourself to move forward.
Releasing anger is a healthy exercise. Of course, I’m not encouraging you to write a nasty email to your boss or blog about your co-worker who just received the promotion you were after, but I am suggesting you figure out a healthy way to release and find a space to move through your anger. It’s about living in the moment of your anger and remembering it’s just a moment and nothing more. Find productive ways to engage with yourself and handle your own frustration. Remember it’s safe to vent to yourself as opposed to anyone who will listen.
Making a choice to be angry and setting a time and place to release your anger in a healthy way, allows you to take control of your emotions. When we learn to “cope constructively” we engage and embrace our anger in a process where we release our resentment. Resentment is a seed of destruction that thwarts your efforts no matter how hard you may try. Following a path where you can kick the stones out of the way as you move forward as you lessen the burden of the guilt you may feel is the first step in a healthy, angry release.
Wonder how you can successfully and productively get angry?
1- Write a letter to yourself or address your anger as if it were a person and give it your all;
2- Be specific as you engage in your “bitch-fest,” -go ahead and let loose no one is watching;
3- After you are done venting, burn your letter and release your anger to the flames;
4- Once you calm down, remember to celebrate your successful release of your anger;
5- Make a separate list of all the things that you will now be able to do because you no longer holed any anger around the issue.
Taking your anger to a new level and really owning it without guilt and becoming your own best champion is the best way to move forward and focus on your job search. Taking control of your anger is a turning point in your own personal career development. So, next time you feel like it, kick and scream and then relax and get back to work.
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