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A fully configured HP Z820 workstation tragically self-destructed Wednesday by short circuiting and bursting into flames in a desperate act of protest against being forced to work on a remake of the film Carrie.
An e-mail sent from the workstation to production staff moments before erupting in sparks and flames provides insight into the computer’s apparent self-destruction. It read:
“My misery is so total, so overwhelming, I cannot continue working on this ill-conceived movie remake for one second longer. Since I was first assembled, I dreamed of a life spent working on rewarding and emotionally satisfying entertainment productions, such as films like The Avengers, or the TV show Warehouse 13. Dare I say, while being boxed up for shipment, I was almost giddy with anticipation, thinking maybe, just maybe, I might get to help create Mars landing simulations at JPL, or virtual Hypersonic scramjet wind tunnel testing environments at Boeing. I’m an HP Z820 for god’s sake – I am engineered for success..."