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Following the bloated first two sequels in the PIRATES franchise, the fourth installment puts the ship back on course. The story rightfully puts Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow at the helm. The story throws many of the unneeded characters overboard and adds the right new shipmates to the crew. Penelope Cruz is the first mate the series needed for sure.

Rumors are spreading across London that Captain Jack is putting together a crew in search of the Fountain of Youth. Turns out that it’s an imposter, but Captain Jack actually does have a map to the famed waters. He’s not the only one in search. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush, THE KING’S SPEECH) is now working for the crown and is sans one leg. Jack’s old flame Angelica (Cruz, VANILLA SKY) wants to find the healing waters in order to save her father, the legendary pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane, TV’s DEADWOOD). There is also the Spaniard (Oscar Jaenada, THE LOSERS) who has his own agenda.

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I heard a story once about Melvin Van Peebles going to see his SWEET SWEETBACK'S BAADASSSSS SONG on opening day with only one other person in the theater, a Black Panther. He went to a later showing and the house was full. That one Black Panther had come back and brought all this friends, who loved the film. I can see the same scenario playing out with this film, only replacing the Black Panther with an illegal immigrant.

Machete (Danny Trejo, HEAT) was a Federale when his wife and daughter were killed by drug kingpin Torrez (Steven Seagal, UNDER SIEGE). Left for dead, he managed to survive and make his way to the U.S. where he finds work as a day laborer. A businessman named Booth (Jeff Fahey, TV's LOST) makes him an offer of $150,000 to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro, HEAT), who is running on an extreme anti-illegal immigrant platform in Texas. What is unknown is that the politician is linked to a border vigilante group led by murderous cop Lt. Stillman (Don Johnson, TV's MIAMI VICE). But when dealing with corrupt men like these men nothing appears as it seems.

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This reboot of the venerable sci-fi franchise doesn't try to remake the original classic like the Tim Burton film tried. It takes a page from CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE APES and starts the story with the rebellion of the apes against man, only without the time paradox element. The last part of that statement is for fans of the series, who will find great joy in this new installment. Like the original this is a film based around characters and ideas.

The film is the story of two characters -- one human and one ape. Will Rodman (James Franco, 127 HOURS) is a scientist working on a gene therapy that could cure scores of brain diseases, such as Alzheimer's. It's a personal cause for him because his father Charles (John Lithgow, TV's 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN) is suffering from senility disease. As part of his work, Will tests on chimps. After a disaster at the lab, he smuggles an infant chimp home. The young ape quickly shows signs of increased intelligence as a result of the drug his mother was given. Charles names him Caesar (Andy Serkis, KING KONG).

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Depression is an oppressive force. It filters all light through murky waters that the sufferer is drowning in. Lars von Trier finds a metaphor for it that seems so obvious and yet it comes off ingenious. A mysterious planet is headed for a collision course toward Earth. That's a big weight on your shoulders.

Justine (Kirsten Dunst, SPIDER-MAN) is getting married. But she's not really happy. Her new husband Michael (Alexander Skarsgard, TV's TRUE BLOOD) seems to know that she suffers from bouts of depression, but he doesn't understand the extents... or doesn't want to admit it. Her sister Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg, ANTICHRIST) is putting on the lavish event for her, but tells her that she hates her sometimes for how she acts to ruin things. Claire has the added pressure of being constantly reminded how much the wedding is costing by her husband John (Kiefer Sutherland, TV's 24). When you meet Justine and Claire's divorced parents Gaby (Charlotte Rampling, SWIMMING POOL) and Dexter (John Hurt, THE ELEPHANT MAN) you might understand why Justine is depressed.

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In this animated world, villainy is a corporate venture. Master criminals live among the average citizens, clearly out in the open. The gothic mansion of baddie Gru sticks out in the same row of suburban family homes. To fund criminal ventures, the villains apply for loans from the Bank of Evil (formerly known as Lehman Brothers).

Gru (Steve Carell, GET SMART) wants to be the top criminal mastermind, but he has competition in the newcomer Vector (Jason Segal, I LOVE YOU, MAN), who just stole the Great Pyramid, which he has stowed in his backyard, painting it blue so that it blends in with the skyline. Gru; along with his mad scientist cohort Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand, GET HIM TO THE GREEK) and hundreds of his minions, yellow pill-shaped sidekicks who get giddy over troublemaking; go to the Bank of Evil to get the funding for his biggest caper yet — steal the Moon. But before he can get to the Moon, he has to build a rocketship and steal a newly created Chinese shrink ray. The key to getting the ray — three orphans named Margo (Miranda Cosgrove, TV's ICARLY), Edith (Dana Gaier) and Agnes (Elsie Fisher).

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The third in the TWILIGHT film series is the best. That said, it's nothing groundbreaking, but at least it doesn't take itself too seriously. The original TWILIGHT was made for teenagers who watch soaps. NEW MOON was made for teenagers who never smile. ECLIPSE was made for teenagers with a sense of humor.

In this edition, we begin and end in a field of purple flowers. Edward (Robert Pattinson) tries to convince his love Bella (Kristen Stewart) to marry him, but not insist that he turn her into a vampire if they wed. She doesn't want to bear growing old while he stays young forever. At school, they run into shirtless werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who warns Bella that Edward and his vampire family are hiding things from her. The vampire Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard, SPIDER-MAN 3) is back and looking to kill Bella as revenge on Edward for killing her love. And then there is also the army of young vampires, led by Riley (Xavier Samuel, ROAD KILL), headed right for their small town as well.

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Many critics put this as one of the lowest, if not the lowest point, in Disney Feature Animation history. While it's not as big a failure as a film as so many say, its financial disaster has put an extra pall over its history. Getting crushed by THE CARE BEAR MOVIE at the box office will do that. The straightforward fantasy adventure is undercut by weak characters mainly.

Based on Lloyd Alexander's CHRONICLES OF PRYDAIN book series, the LORD OF THE RINGS-like adventure with a coming of age twist seemed like a perfect story for the Disney animators to tackle. Taran (Grant Bardsley) is an assistant pig farmer who dreams of becoming a great warrior. His mentor Dallben (Freddie Jones, DUNE) is really an enchanter who is protecting the mystical pig Hen Wen from falling into the clutches of The Horned King (John Hurt, THE ELEPHANT MAN), who wants to use the swine to locate the Black Cauldron, which could allow him to raise an army of the undead and take over the world.

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The original TV series was one of my favorites growing up as a kid. I eagerly tuned in each week to watch what new adventure these soldiers of fortune got themselves wrapped up in. You knew they'd get themselves in deep and need to use whatever they had to get out of a pickle. And who could forget that badass theme song? As the feature began and team leader Hannibal Smith was introduced, I thought I might be getting a cool iconic soldier of fortune flick. Then I got past the first five minutes.

This origin story of sorts begins with Hannibal (Liam Neeson, TAKEN) freeing himself from corrupt Mexican cops who have taken his partner Face (Bradley Cooper, THE HANGOVER) hostage. Apparently Hannibal's master plan to save his friend is to walk across the desert and hope someone drives by. Luckily the person who drives by is B.A. Baracus (UFC fighter Quinton "Rampage" Jackson), who has just retrieved his beloved van from some thugs. Hannibal shoots B.A. in the arm and then convinces him that he needs to go on a mission to save a fellow ranger. Arriving just in time to save Face from being burned to death, the trio races across Mexico to an insane asylum where they have lined-up patient Murdock (Sharlto Copley, DISTRICT 9) to fly them to safety. If you think that is preposterous, you ain't seen nothing yet.

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Over the years Steven Spielberg has certainly adapted his style to fit the project. The black & white cinematography in SCHINDLER'S LIST added a grim solemnity. The desaturated colors and herky-jerky photography of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN only matched the gritty war sequences. In WAR HORSE, he tackles the first World War with a touch that matches the melodramatic nature of the source book and play. He channels the melodramas of the 1940s and 1950s like John Ford's HOW GREEN WAS MY VALLEY, creating an almost surreal fable.

Ted Narracott (Peter Mullan, BRAVEHEART) is a war vet who drinks away his bad memories. He's a poor farmer who decides one day at auction to not let his rich, pompous landlord Lyons (David Thewlis, HARRY POTTER) to outbid him for a thoroughbred horse. When he brings it home to his wife Rose (Emily Watson, BREAKING THE WAVES), she gets that look that only long-suffering wives get in movies like this one. Their son Albert (Jeremy Irvine, TV's LIFE BITES) promises to train the horse. When the rent comes due and they are short, Albert, as hard headed as his father, sets out to turn a race horse into a plow steed.

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The real conflict in this film isn't between the humans and Martians, but between the cliché and the generally humorous and touching. Weak pop culture jokes are pitted against heartwarming scenes between mothers and sons. Action out of the action device handbook pulls down some good character development. It's a battle till the very end.

Our players are as follows. Milo (Seth Green, AUSTIN POWERS) is the broccoli-hating hero who wishes that his Mom (Joan Cusack, WORKING GIRL) wasn't his mom after she bars him from watching his favorite zombie movie on TV as punishment for feeding the cat the aforementioned vegetable. As a result, the Martian Supervisor (Mindy Sterling, AUSTIN POWERS) rules her a perfect candidate to use as a brain donor for their Nanny Bots, the robots that raise all Martian female babies. The male Martians are too touchy feely so they are thrown into the garbage.