TRANSFORMERS starts off as a fun summer cruise, but then crashes head on into the medium strip at 100 mph and subsequently kicks it into autopilot. The first third is an entertaining global alien invasion flick in the mold of INDEPENDENCE DAY, but sadly once the Autobots show up the script flips into a juvenile, sitcom-like version of IRON GIANT. Finally in the end, we are given a conclusion with so many plot holes you could drive Optimus Prime right through them.
In Qatar, a U.S. military base is attacked by a transforming helicopter, leaving soldiers Sgt. Lennox (Josh Duhamel, TV's LAS VEGAS), USAF Tech Sgt. Epps (Tyrese Gibson, BABY BOY) and their teammates stranded in the desert. Then we move to the American suburbs, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf, HOLES) is trying to save up for his first car, going to the point where he's willing to sell his grandfather's glasses on eBay. He pines over the pretty, popular girl Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox, TV's HOPE & FAITH), who turns out to be a grease monkey. Defense Secretary John Keller (Jon Voight, DELIVERENCE) tries to make heads or tails of the robot attack, which includes a hack into the government's computer systems. To do so he calls in tech experts from all walks of life. Young, pretty, Aussie techie Maggie Madsen (Rachael Taylor, SEE NO EVIL) discovers the alien robots hacking into Air Force One computers and when she gets resistance to her idea about the hacks coming from DNA based machines, she goes to her hacker friend Glen Whitmann (Anthony Anderson, HUSTLE & FLOW) for help. Later Sam discovers that his beat-up Camero is really an alien robot named Bumblebee (Mark Ryan, THE PRESTIGE) and that his grandfather's glasses are key to saving Earth from the evil alien robot Decepticons.
The most disappointing thing about this film is how much I was digging it up until the point where it ran off the road. LaBeouf is a real star in the making. He has charisma and great timing. The gags worked out between him, Fox and his car are funny. The action sequences where Sam goes looking for his missing car and when he is attacked by the villainous cop car are exciting and well executed. Bumblebee is given character and Optimus Prime — with the voice of Peter Cullen from the original animated series — is a commanding leader. You have to love that voice. Then the rest of the Autobots show up and they talk and it's all over.
The desire to make the Autobots seem "hip" comes off gimmicky and lame. It's worse than when your dad tries to use modern slang. The entire sequence where Sam and Mikaela look for the glasses at Sam's house is painfully unfunny… and it's long too. It's average sitcom gag material. Then if you don't think that it's going to get any worse, John Turturro (DO THE RIGHT THING) shows up as a silly, stupid agent from a secret government agency that only wishes it were as cool as the Men in Black. And that's not the end of the embarrassment; there are bodily fluid jokes all over the place. Ugh.
So everyone ends up at the Hoover Dam (don't ask) and the film transforms into a Michael Bay, blow everything to hell, action movie. Director Bay is so lazy that he even repeats the 360-degree shootout shot that he used in at least one of his other films. The action plays out at such a breakneck speed at times you have not a clue what robot is battling what robot. And by this point you really don't care that much. As for making any sense storywise, if giant, killer, alien robots are coming for a magic cube and you want to keep it from them so they don't destroy the planet, why would you leave the Hoover Dam, which is out in the middle of nowhere, to go to a highly populated urban area? For the screenwriters, it's a cool location to blow stuff up real good. Ugh.
The script seems to be a victim of too many cooks stirring the pot. A solid base was established then others were brought in to "punch up" the humor and action, thus punching out any semblance of continuity. There is a wealth of worthless characters that could have been combined and fleshed out more. Moreover, from time to time, the story taps into our reliance on modern technology, but only gives the theme a surface treatment. The lost opportunity to have a line dealing with the pros and cons of technology is really sad.
Nostalgic males in their 30s or late 20s and tween aged boys and younger will probably find this production radical like totally. I found it an empty, but slick, summer thrill ride at best. Many of the robot battles tap into the coolness of classic monster movies like GODZILLA. The visual effects are amazing. The fight scenes are exciting. So it's not a totally waste, if you go in expecting just a rollercoaster ride. I didn't expect a museum piece where I thought about deep issues, but when you're given decent characters and a nice set up, you're let down when the pay off is just peeing cars and explosions.
Rick DeMott
Animation World Network
Creator of Rick's Flicks Picks
