The first KARATE KID is a classic. Yes, I’m gutsy enough to say that. Yeah, it has its total cheese parts, but at its core it is a believable tale of friendship. However, THE NEXT KARATE KID is all cheese. Abandoning the core relationship that made the original great (not that it saved part two or three), you can hear the filmmakers trying to wring out the last coin from this franchise.
Every time Pat Morita rolls his eyes in disgust, you have to believe it’s a comment on the trite he is being subjected to in order to pay his mortgage. This time around Mr. Miyagi (Morita) becomes the guardian of his dead friend’s daughter, named Julie, played by, yes, two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank.
So pretty much, the film deals with Mr. Miyagi trying to teach Julie discipline. The bad guy is Colonel Dugan (Michael Ironside, THE PERFECT STORM), who trains some of the local boys to strictly enforce the school rules, using force if necessary. Julie has a crush on one of those boys named Eric (Chris Conrad, MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION), who dreams of joining the military. And of course, there’s a hardcore follower of the Colonel named Ned (Michael Cavalieri, BOOK OF LOVE), who picks on both Julie and Chris. What a jerk.
The plot is paint-by-numbers. However, everything is done in the most sappy, unrealistic way. Like for instance, when Julie is afraid she can’t go to the prom because she can’t dance, Mr. Miyagi shows her karate moves that turn into a waltz. Grab a Kleenex so I can cover my eyes from this junk.
The screenplay turns Mr. Miyagi into a caricature of the broken-English Asian. Making things even worse, the film throws in cutesy Buddhist monks who dance and bowl. Additionally, lets not even get into the near supernatural abilities that are displayed by these karate masters. Or get into the maudlin parts with the hawk with a broken wing or the bungie jumping into prom retardedness.
Colonel Dugan is so over-the-top. What school would have this psychopath around children? That’s the other thing — Swank passes as a teenager, but Conrad doesn’t even pass for late twenties. Even though she does her best, Swank can’t turn the awful dialogue into anything marginally believable. This film is a cheap attempt to cash in on the franchise, retaining nothing that made the first film great. THE NEXT KARATE KID is worse than a bad after-school special.
Rick DeMott
Animation World Network
Creator of Rick's Flicks Picks
