CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010) (**)

When I was five, there were two films that completely captured by imagination — STAR WARS and CLASH OF THE TITANS. The original is a campy classic epic adventure punctuated by Ray Harryhausen's awesome special effects. In this remake, I looked forward to seeing some of the plot hiccups reworked and combined with modern visual effects. All I got was more plot hiccups that ultimately render the modern visual effects less than thrilling.

Zeus (Liam Neeson, TAKEN) and the gods need the prayers of humans to retain their power. When humans challenge the gods, they seek revenge. King Acrisius (Jason Flemyng, KICK-ASS) challenges the gods' rule, so Zeus rapes his wife, impregnating her. In defiance, Acrisius nails his wife and bastard son Perseus in a coffin and plans to drop them into the sea. Right when he's about to carry out the deed, he is struck by lightning. Disfigured, he changes his name to Calibos and goes into hiding. The coffin is recovered by a fisherman named Spyros (Pete Postlethwaite, IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER), who finds Perseus alive and adopts the boy.

Years later, King Kepheus (Vincent Regan, 300) and Queen Cassiopeia (Polly Walker, TV's CAPRICA) want to starve the gods of human prayers. Their daughter Andromeda (Alexa Davalos, THE MIST) questions the prudence of their hubris. As a result, Hades (Ralph Fiennes, HARRY POTTER), who lives off the fear of humans, makes a deal with Zeus; he will strike terror in the humans, making them run back to the altar of the gods. But wait… doesn't Zeus know that human fear makes Hades stronger? But who am I to question the logic of a god?

A grown Perseus (Sam Worthington, AVATAR) finds himself at the mercy of the gods and in the prison of the king. Demigod Io (Gemma Arterton, QUANTUM OF SOLACE) reveals to him his origins and he is called upon to lead a group of soldiers to find a way to stop the gods from destroying the city of Argos. In addition to Io, Perseus is joined by the scouring Draco (Mads Mikkelsen, CASINO ROYALE), wisecracking Solon (Liam Cunningham, HUNGER), and the Arabic Djinn Sheikh Suleiman (Ian Whyte, AVP: ALIEN VS. PREDATOR), among others.

The set-up for the adventure is nicely handled. I really liked the element of prayers giving the gods power. However, once the journey starts; the pieces don't fit. Many of the characters' motivations are muddled. Perseus, listening to the advice of Spyros, wants nothing to do with his god side. He rejects a magical sword presented to him at first, but his use of it later seems motivated by something too obvious. And if the gods would suffer if he wins, why are they helping him? Explanations are given, but they're lame. Additionally, with all the god meddling on Perseus's behalf, he turns into a less-than-dynamic hero.

Making matters worse, unlike the original film, Perseus is not fighting for the hand of Andromeda, whose sacrifice to the Kraken, the giant sea creature, will appease the gods. In a very modern PC move, Io is part of the fighting and serves as Perseus' love interest. So why is Perseus fighting to save the city? His motivations are not nearly as strong as the original film. Making matters worse, the film takes a turn right before the third act that kills all emotional pull going into the conclusion. But right before the credits, the story pulls magic out of its… hum… hat and resets things. Too much of the film is driven by forces that have nothing to do with telling a clear story.

As for the film's silliness, the first film had its share as well. But like so many modern films, it goes for the lowest common denominator. Gross gags abound whether Argonauts are bathed in scorpion guts or the Stygian Witches' eye is made extra gruesome. Then we have Solon coming in with punchlines that call out for a rim shot.

The visual effects and production design do deliver on what I was hoping for. The Pegasus is very realistic looking. The Kraken and giant scorpions are epic. Medusa (Natalia Vodianova, CQ) is a classic combination of beauty and hideousness. The animation of her body after she is beheaded is campy and creepy at the same time. The problem, however, is that without a truly compelling reason for the hero to be facing these creatures, they lack the mounting thrills they are meant to create.

TITANS showed so much promise as it began. But the interesting ideas of gods needing prayers or fears to grow strong are not carried through. As a result Perseus and Zeus flounder around with a muddled motivations. While Perseus gets to ride Pegasus at the end, he doesn't get to soar.