The Animation Pimp: Via Slug’s Saloon

The Animation Pimp presents the unedited selection notes he took during the 2002 Ottawa Festival's selection process, where he, and two others, watched over 1600 films in nine days…

By Chris Robinson | Thursday, August 8, 2002 at 12:00 am

Posted In | Columns: The Animation Pimp

Je crash Pierre t’amitay I loved it just in case someone from Roman reads this Last minute is weak Disq condie comp animation Touch each other in funny ways NO! [I added a drawing] Sorry Pal but once again… This is not for tom and tina school…miscellaneous porn nookaleedookalee [drawings of spheres, tunnels, cubes] Do beans get gas? Tape damaged uses the ACTUAL Python track I like to like it more than I did I’m sad Best Acting! Entered before? Gak gak no spend less time on you logo This is really depressing Aussie narration must stop Make a film without dialogue and stop reminiscing about your damn cousins brothers uncles aunts nieces dogs cats cities and dads Accordians and fake French accents w/love are and have always been OUT The stupidest why even bother yet most truthful STOP OINKING! Speaking of nightmares disqualified parn/driessen most copied I just wanna say BI heh heh Does this mean that if I reject your film I am intolerant? Poor singing if ya gee…asks me beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice I’m running too! Speaking of sinking ships! Tina thinks its cheese another stork what a waste of a FINE poet disqual. Childrens categories not today! Everyone hopes that each tape is damaged now. [drawing of a smiling face] Jarvis laughed when she ate the whole chicken

[one facial drawing]

Disc jockey no I want to forget it all cut together

FOR kids does not mean BY kids Life is about leaving Bear in schoolyard very little animation but tree with golden apples STOP IT! [many incoherent scribbles and various drawings] oops Neither SEEN nor HEARD Damn shame 8 year old

Good soundtrack 2 min. in and no animation good screen saver NOPE usual imagery single character alienated blah fuggin blah blah nonfigurative figurative They WILL never know wankadoodledo some people think that non-narrative means no narration airport London melting ice kinda ol school collage trace it’s a narrative! Bad mood tired easy to irritate always find someone to accommodate me my dad on a bender but with a rabbit narrative? I am to put an end to this…escape slow unclear not sure how interesting to caricature the faces of statues yikes another non-narration piece? OH GOD Please make this end. I was wish I was who was that blinded guy in lear? Gloucester…oh hell…Oedipus‘ll do too. So umm…what is it with woman and cats why not dogs or birdies or vibrators Estonians should travel to the U.S. and stop reducing Americans to cultural stereotypes. Must be their peasant roots igors work structured as a narrative but n.n. to me is something impression/expression but figure or non-figure grainy paint brush atmosphere/ecliptic/hints holes are usually empty or filled with STUFF cue yr tape! Seconds minutes hours days wasted by rewind wasn’t bad but….. every film brought excitement hope potential now its just an ache an arrogance "PROOVE IT BUDDY" impatience….films gone in seconds but how else? How much of the limited scenes are painted over how funny paist vs life logic/reason goes out the window senses take over Nah seen better peaceful simple sparse FREEDOM go go go go go go go colourbars on on on black cue it kill me NOW! Maybe u should focus harder on one film rather than submit 4-5 another girl-cat film She aint no proust of course maybe that’s good synth leaves water 2d are the ingredients of cheese s’ugly disqualified don’t tell US you’re an experimental film TAPE SMASHED saw it… speaking of gas pipes…where is the engraving pallice? Narrative Noooooooooooooooooooooooo Friday [drawing of a head with a hat that then serves a boat in a drawing above with the sun and seagulls above] ONE OF US CANNOT BE WRONG oh yes…that is true and it is I who is not wrong this time made it awkward and ugly repetitive actions flow chaos no sound make sure we are all prepared check all dvds/cdroms in advance to ensure that they work I should call SAFO SOFA What with the ‘Stephen Hawking’ voices?

Lego head as a bowling ball beating up al roker is good effective anti-smoking using who is the careless neighbour funny [more drawings] disqualified ‘ite [drawing of spider] newspaper town matrix references are very annoying salt hahahahahaha Looting is the best dude

Damaged.

I don’t get it.

Unedited Selection Notes
Written July 9-17, 2002
Ottawa, Canada
1670 films were entered
90 something were accepted
very few squirrels or goats were involved

Chris Robinson is but a man. His hobbies include squirrel taunting, goat thumping, meat dancing and elderly peeping. You can find the results at http://asifa.net/robinson.

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Comments

hey Chris - again, some "people" don't get it...like Z...and D...and i applaud yer efforts to enlighten same! myownself, think it's a waste of time...nothing ya or i tell em would make em "see"....sure, makes ya feel better, all altruistic and inclusive...trying to leave no one out...but some are better left there. ain't it funny the most ignorant, and "animated", tend to be the best "educated"? sez something 'bout the "education" system....

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tony the tiger (not verified) | Sat, 08/17/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

lets-see.....1600 films divided by 9 days= six burned-out eyes+ judges brains "fried" by the day eight...hmmmm, did the real-deserving winners win?who cares! i know the pimp was probably experiencing the latest brain-washing-by-over-exposure -to( bad )animation, who"s idea was this-anyway? these brave judges may need 'shock-therapy' after this one..."hold -still and bite this piece of wood-mr. 'pimp'...zzziittt-zzziiitt"....dawk

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dawk mc farlane (not verified) | Fri, 08/16/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

To Draino: 1. This was unedited..that means..gulp.... leaving every phrase untouched. 2. That's the sort of mentality that scrunches our society into a breed of lifeless, bland robotic either/or twits who go around pretending they're all nice and dandy like but can't wait to embrace and deliver some slander against someone else --in hushed tones of course. The type, for example, who actually believes that there are 'immoral' 'wrong' 'vulgar' sexual actions between two consenting adults. 3. As for these so called 'vulgar' words, first off, most of these words have been used for centuries so I don't know what this 'wasted generation' nonsense is that you speak of. It's not like 20th/21st century folks are the inventors of swearing for christ's sake. See the fine book, Wicked Words for details. (in the case of FUCK, it appears that the repression of that word over recent centuries has a lot to do with stifling Victorian moralities---something we ---not me though--appear to still be living with). 4. As for shock value... we all know these words are most often used to express extreme frustration, pain, anguish, hurt, anger, and serve as sort of an oral form of violence. And since I don't REALLY wanna hit people or shoot them or stab them or clonk them on the noggin with a brick...primitive, unharnessed oral 'rage' is a nice and appropriate alternative. In short...fuck you. (see..now THAT is shock value) Chris

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Chris Robinson (not verified) | Thu, 08/15/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

I belive in fredom of speech and also have (obivously)bad typing as well............but................Really! Is it nessary to use language for shock value? Or have we not evolved over time? So many wasted generations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DRACO

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draco MCI (not verified) | Thu, 08/15/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

Right on, Chris! The Richards out there, they of the too-tight ties be needin' to draw a big breath and oxygenize both sides of the brain for this because you are onto the Real Deal. Having sat/slouched/screamed my way through the selection process - which I recall as being very professionally hosted by y'all, in spite of upteen minutes of mis-cued colour bars and misguided notions of communicating with a sentient audience - I will vouch for your stream-of-consciousness as a very accurate rendition of the dehumanizing, albeit fascinating, role we fulfill in whittling down the hundreds to The Dozens. Keep the brain waves splashing, Mr. C! Stephen B.

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Stephen Barnes (not verified) | Mon, 08/12/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

Chris, Wow! I am amazed at what you were able to make with/from this mind-numbing experience. Seeing so many films in such a short time is truly nuts (and not fair for the films and their makers I might add), and yet, you salvaged enough clarity, enough sanity (and care?) to be able to make me feel that through your writing. Maybe some of the negative feedback you're now getting exemplifies what hampers "habitual animation:" step out of the societal norms (as you just did), and you'll be chastised. Yet, it is by taking chances like you just did in the writing of this piece, and in the very way you did it, that lies new things for all of us to discover, to enjoy. There was a slogan painted on many walls during the ("my") days of May '68 in Europe, and it could apply to the present situation: "He who does not go for the impossible will scarcely do anything worthwhile." (My translation.) I can imagine the OIAF selection committee meetings described in a local newspaper, and then compare that report with your story! I for one am glad you resisted the temptation to write a "journalistic report!"

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Jean Detheux (not verified) | Fri, 08/09/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

All animations concerning truly unusual creatures/organisms/monsters - all animations of frogs and/or toads - all animations for television that have to do with cigaretes, cigars or beer. These are the things to see. Yes! More information...give.

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mattoad scumjump (not verified) | Fri, 08/09/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

WHAT-EVER. At least people are trying. Hasn’t the pimp got any thing better to write than that energy draining article?

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Carolle-Shelley Abrams (not verified) | Fri, 08/09/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

That does it. If I ever had any doubt in the past, this article confirms my initial gut feeling. I am 100% finished reading AWN's Animation Pimp articles. Whatever it is you were trying to do, Chris, it not only went way over my head, but it has killed any further credibility you might hold in my eyes. I now officially have concrete examples of what to show my students is invalid crap information that can be found on the web. Thanks.