The Animation Pimp: Via Slug’s Saloon

The Animation Pimp presents the unedited selection notes he took during the 2002 Ottawa Festival's selection process, where he, and two others, watched over 1600 films in nine days…

By Chris Robinson | Thursday, August 8, 2002 at 12:00 am

Posted In | Columns: The Animation Pimp

#2
Frogs are green
limes are green
go away

Beeter and course think evrythink nothink sumthink ‘nd ow…my arm une piece de poopoo another floating man priit parn ‘hommage’ bingo deformed media pressure The whistle no whistling big squirrels Puking gargoyles dumala RRRREDDDDD purple blue cue yr tape asshole saw this in Estonia are the pauses the dvd? Forget it! S’ok but kinda sloppy even a Mexican wrestler hmm….RRRRRRR LONG well animated designed

#3
Sleep
I need Sleep
Dreams are good
Does Anyone sleep WELL?
I can photocopy my hand too.

Genital issues hysteria is caused by wanking but what is caused by crying? Tape phukked and it's 11 min. Nein death sex birth go work at NFB we don’t need to hear this song if they DO IT its in looks like found footage bla SWANSBBBITTTS Time frozen? We’re into the 3d shit Raoul Servais is still alive big hats umbrellas tom tina maybe/no I say NO they say PANORAMA maybe for kids category? Very stylish it is done fat people bolero b/w subway NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO do not enter test film credits longer than movie The loving was comin’ WEEEEEEEEE….I’m floating Feathers, canes and cello Lighten Up! Curtain rises Please let us stop Fuck off creep I like RED!!! I like Red Sumo river phukker my stomach is beeping Soviet anthem! Yippee!!! Oi my head Already showed at Ottawa 76 Don’t like lighting framing or the phukking dolls finger puppets suck I want to dance he’s right Life is hard especially when I must watch pretentious stuff like this finale-mother-son Winks! No waste a No Speaking of Pärn Seven Sins and into the void it goes 2 men shoot their dogs "oh for something to eat" This one won't be on the menu Miles Davis robot Capture filmmaker and remove computer Pixar pool balls not enuff ‘balls’ Bosom Wacky Unintended parody of surrealism Jesus Christ germans doin’ Japanese robots This is phukking weird like snowshoes Nox3 ugly scary powdered film? They go dark Shadowplay Chuck Gamble black this/that Pärn/Krause "I’d like to take a crap on the tv screen" Spoons are good for big fuls of cereal wank

#4
Starlight
Starbright
Please be the last Star
Like This
I see this life

Sparse single character it sure is! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what a wonderful woild "a baby monkey maybe" how much are we paying this education handcuffed to your dick poe was American I’ve seen toys in my nightmares…and then the scream came… Margaret rewind the tape please Whose Sam? Look MA! Sand on glass! Drink your tea and shed up No seeds! The horror! No classical guitars please Tumpkins I am not of the same opinion Baden has great hot springs but tuscania was much better by starlight Smut U my friend are an idiot Spiderman Whose to say what is not objective Whose to say what is objective Isnt objective subjective? Is my reality objective or subjective? I like bugs! No! I LOVE bugs!

#5
Burton, Tim
Elfman, Danny
Festival, no

Whoass me Is that gum? Pretentious git is that a NO I smell? That best not be a tightrope meanwhile at the bar? Areba si signor I’m beggin you to SHUT UP I invented the door bell this child has the voice of a thirty year old Remove this 2 Kaks Was that a handjob? How many ways can I spell stooped. No whistling no whistling no ninjas either I don’t mind her ass but the other 2 say "no" Not working umm…gosh stupido city as jungle flying turtles statues pyramids turtles flying around why me smile? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHY? There must be a way to stop it What’s with this accent? Atmospheric nonsense 1-2-3- NO! 3 mins of colour bars culture.

Oh god…. I protest I protest aint disqualified Timmy

Title sequence its lame

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Comments

hey Chris - again, some "people" don't get it...like Z...and D...and i applaud yer efforts to enlighten same! myownself, think it's a waste of time...nothing ya or i tell em would make em "see"....sure, makes ya feel better, all altruistic and inclusive...trying to leave no one out...but some are better left there. ain't it funny the most ignorant, and "animated", tend to be the best "educated"? sez something 'bout the "education" system....

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tony the tiger (not verified) | Sat, 08/17/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

lets-see.....1600 films divided by 9 days= six burned-out eyes+ judges brains "fried" by the day eight...hmmmm, did the real-deserving winners win?who cares! i know the pimp was probably experiencing the latest brain-washing-by-over-exposure -to( bad )animation, who"s idea was this-anyway? these brave judges may need 'shock-therapy' after this one..."hold -still and bite this piece of wood-mr. 'pimp'...zzziittt-zzziiitt"....dawk

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dawk mc farlane (not verified) | Fri, 08/16/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

To Draino: 1. This was unedited..that means..gulp.... leaving every phrase untouched. 2. That's the sort of mentality that scrunches our society into a breed of lifeless, bland robotic either/or twits who go around pretending they're all nice and dandy like but can't wait to embrace and deliver some slander against someone else --in hushed tones of course. The type, for example, who actually believes that there are 'immoral' 'wrong' 'vulgar' sexual actions between two consenting adults. 3. As for these so called 'vulgar' words, first off, most of these words have been used for centuries so I don't know what this 'wasted generation' nonsense is that you speak of. It's not like 20th/21st century folks are the inventors of swearing for christ's sake. See the fine book, Wicked Words for details. (in the case of FUCK, it appears that the repression of that word over recent centuries has a lot to do with stifling Victorian moralities---something we ---not me though--appear to still be living with). 4. As for shock value... we all know these words are most often used to express extreme frustration, pain, anguish, hurt, anger, and serve as sort of an oral form of violence. And since I don't REALLY wanna hit people or shoot them or stab them or clonk them on the noggin with a brick...primitive, unharnessed oral 'rage' is a nice and appropriate alternative. In short...fuck you. (see..now THAT is shock value) Chris

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Chris Robinson (not verified) | Thu, 08/15/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

I belive in fredom of speech and also have (obivously)bad typing as well............but................Really! Is it nessary to use language for shock value? Or have we not evolved over time? So many wasted generations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DRACO

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draco MCI (not verified) | Thu, 08/15/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

Right on, Chris! The Richards out there, they of the too-tight ties be needin' to draw a big breath and oxygenize both sides of the brain for this because you are onto the Real Deal. Having sat/slouched/screamed my way through the selection process - which I recall as being very professionally hosted by y'all, in spite of upteen minutes of mis-cued colour bars and misguided notions of communicating with a sentient audience - I will vouch for your stream-of-consciousness as a very accurate rendition of the dehumanizing, albeit fascinating, role we fulfill in whittling down the hundreds to The Dozens. Keep the brain waves splashing, Mr. C! Stephen B.

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Stephen Barnes (not verified) | Mon, 08/12/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

Chris, Wow! I am amazed at what you were able to make with/from this mind-numbing experience. Seeing so many films in such a short time is truly nuts (and not fair for the films and their makers I might add), and yet, you salvaged enough clarity, enough sanity (and care?) to be able to make me feel that through your writing. Maybe some of the negative feedback you're now getting exemplifies what hampers "habitual animation:" step out of the societal norms (as you just did), and you'll be chastised. Yet, it is by taking chances like you just did in the writing of this piece, and in the very way you did it, that lies new things for all of us to discover, to enjoy. There was a slogan painted on many walls during the ("my") days of May '68 in Europe, and it could apply to the present situation: "He who does not go for the impossible will scarcely do anything worthwhile." (My translation.) I can imagine the OIAF selection committee meetings described in a local newspaper, and then compare that report with your story! I for one am glad you resisted the temptation to write a "journalistic report!"

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Jean Detheux (not verified) | Fri, 08/09/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

All animations concerning truly unusual creatures/organisms/monsters - all animations of frogs and/or toads - all animations for television that have to do with cigaretes, cigars or beer. These are the things to see. Yes! More information...give.

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mattoad scumjump (not verified) | Fri, 08/09/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

WHAT-EVER. At least people are trying. Hasn’t the pimp got any thing better to write than that energy draining article?

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Carolle-Shelley Abrams (not verified) | Fri, 08/09/2002 - 00:00 | Permalink

That does it. If I ever had any doubt in the past, this article confirms my initial gut feeling. I am 100% finished reading AWN's Animation Pimp articles. Whatever it is you were trying to do, Chris, it not only went way over my head, but it has killed any further credibility you might hold in my eyes. I now officially have concrete examples of what to show my students is invalid crap information that can be found on the web. Thanks.