The Animation Pimp: How To Avoid Pissing Me Off or…. Ottawa Festival Entry Tips (aka Festival Rant #2)
I cant afford to ship my film, can you pay?
Beta transfers. A little Sugar, Baby. Some of you animators are sluts. Youll love animation festivals like moist whores until you get your film into a live-action festival and then suddenly you tighten up like a nun. All that matters now is Cannes, Venice or Berlin. And yeah
I get it
you just want to be accepted period
not just within the realm of animation. You wanna be loved by everyone and not just treated as one of those retards from that special world of animation.
Animation festivals EXIST to show your films, and the least you can do is acknowledge these festivals if you win an award. Why arent you putting that Grand Prize from Ottawa, Annecy, Stuttgart, Holland, etc.
on your posters? If were not good enough for you, then why the fug are you even entering your film in our festivals? You owe it to you and us to show your award off. It helps you. It helps us.
That goes for studios too. If you win the Best TV Show award in Ottawa or Annecy, I wanna see/hear you telling people about it. A motley crew of international animation folks from wide and diverse backgrounds are judging you. If theyve chosen your show
thats a pretty high compliment. Take it, embrace it, flaunt it, lick it.
I know that you spend a lot of time and money making stills, videotapes, film prints, paying for postage and posters etc
All Im asking is that you take more care when youre sending your films to festivals. Certainly read the entry forms, but also find out more about the festival youre submitting too. Dont just go to their Website
cause you aint gonna find anything objective there. Post questions on discussion forums, ask other animators, do a Google search, see if there are some (ha ha) past reviews of the festival. There are a lot of festivals appearing and disappearing each year and you owe it to yourself to take better care of your work. I mean you spent all this time and energy on it, so why wouldnt you care more about where its being shown?
As a writer, I send out articles and manuscripts. I make sure that I read the requirements of the magazine/publisher carefully before I send anything. I also check out what they published before and keep track of every place Ive sent my material. This IS pain in the ass work, but folks, its part and parcel of the artistic process. The work does not end when you finish the film or manuscript
thats just the beginning.
P.S. Ottawa is going annual as of 2005. You heard it hear first.
P.P.S: Before SAFO 03 we had maybe two to three Panorama filmmakers decide VERY late in the game that they were not going to send us their film to screen. That's an INCREDIBLE pain in the ass. Not only are you screwing up our program but more importantly you've just taken away space that could have gone to a fucking filmmaker WHO WOULD HAVE APPRECIATED THE SCREENING TIME.
A few (not many) of you seem to think that being accepted for Panorama is a slap in the face. How's that? You're being shown in the same venue as the competition films and being seen by the same audience? So you're not gonna get a chintzy prize or small amount of cash... big deal... neither are 95% of those in competition.
In fact, most folks I know actually prefer the Panorama screenings and often go there looking for overlooked gems.
Chris Robinson is but a man. His hobbies include squirrel taunting, goat thumping, meat dancing and elderly peeping. You can find the results at http://asifa.net/robinson.
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And when we say we cannot pay, said filmmaker gets quite belligerent. This suggests that you are not following Tip #2. If you did, youd see that while we do pay for return shipping and are always willing to forward your film to another festival, we do not have the means to pay for the shipping of your film TO the festival. This goes for Panorama and Competition films. Think about this before you enter. If you aint got the mullah to ship, then dont enter.
A minor problem
but again we make it VERY clear that we cannot accept PAL system Beta tapes (sorry
I didnt make up this ridiculous region system)
yet every year we get blasted because for not accepting PAL (suggesting, again, that Tip #2 was overlooked). In a lot of cases we do make transfers, but they cost us about $70 (CAD) per five- to 10-minute film. Its not just an issue of money. When we make a transfer from the PAL tape you send, youre losing a generation during the procedure. So youre, lets say, 40-year-old Pops comes out looking 50 with 10 extra pounds. And you can guess what happens next
this unable-to-pay-for-a-tape-but-able-to-pay-for-an-international-flight filmmaker shows up at the festival and gets all heated when his/her film dont look so good up on the screen (and hey
we have damn good video projection so dont go there pallie.) Bad situation all round.
Were generally pretty proud of the films that win at Ottawa. Every year we try and organize Best of Ottawa programs that tour around North America and, sometimes, Europe or Asia. These tours are a MAJOR pain in the rectum to organize, but we do it because it promotes our festival and were trying to ensure that short animation gets seen by as many folks as possible. But ya know what? How about a little return on that? How about some of you winners listing your award win in Ottawa (or any other animation festival for that matter) on your festival poster, press sheets, videos, DVDs or even a film print?























Dear animation Gimp,
You sir, are a douche-bag.
I would like to formally thank your parents for wasting everyone's time. But i'm guessing they have long since left this world, after the realisation of what they both created sunk deep into their concious.
I've produced shit more amiable. Every time I flush one such specimen down the drain, I can't help the feeling of chagrin I get, when I think that it should be YOU in that toilet, waiting for the inevitable journey to your smelly, moist demise.
p.s.
I am not a disgruntled animator, who's work was rejected. Nor am I a friend/relation/teacher of one such person. But after stumbling upon your various 'criticisms' of Aleksandr Petrov, I strove to find at least 1 aspect of your personality I thought was justified. Every criticism you have, presents itself as a personal hatred of the artist in question.
You are the person who needs perspective, your snide remarks only serve to belittle others, while raising yourself on a shit covered pedestal. I'm not saying, that Petrov is the best artist in the world, and quite frankly some of your points were almost agreeable. However your delivery of these points, is despicable.
I'm afraid, even this obsessed tirade of sarcastic hints and tips, to help separate the best from the rest, only drives home the image of a douche-bag
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