The Animation Pimp: How To Avoid Pissing Me Off or…. Ottawa Festival Entry Tips (aka Festival Rant #2)
A few tips for making the life of festival organizers and entrants a little easier.
Fill out the entry form. Read the Rules and Regulations Check your tape. Cue your tape. Rejection b. Don’t ask for detailed feedback c. Have some perspective d. Don’t Brag in Defense This Invitation is NOT transferable When we send invitation letters to competition filmmakers we bold, CAPITALIZE, and underline THIS INVITIVATION IS NOT TRANSFERABLE. We are inviting YOU, the person who created the work, not your cameraman, producer, girlfriend or uncle. I’m not really sure how much clearer we can be about it. You don’t even need to read the rules this time cause it’s right there big and bold on this one page sheet. So please, stop asking.
Do not send tapes in unmarked envelopes unaccompanied by an entry form or letter of introduction. No entry form, no entry. They get tossed.
Ottawa does not accept an entry unless the entry form is signed. If it’s signed, we are assuming that you’ve read and understand the rules.
You’ve sent a blank tape. There’s nothing on it. That hurts.
That means that you should rewind your tape to the beginning so that we don’t see the middle of some Belgian TV movie of the week. It also means that we do not want to see color bars and black screens. There’s nothing more annoying than being blasted by that fuggin’ color bar BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP sound and THEN having to wait for an eternity as a smooth cloud of silent darkness lumbers by to ensure that your entry is tossed out faster than a gob.
a. Nothing Personal
You didn’t make the cut. Don’t take it personally. We don’t give it personally. I’m not a fan of competition to begin with. Festivals are a collection of personal opinions, nothing more. Please don’t send angry letters telling us we’re uncultured swines.
And also… please don’t ask me to give you some feedback about what you can do to improve your film. What I dislike about your film might appeal to someone else. What I like might (very likely) abhor someone else.
I know it’s especially hard for students… but we get a lot of responses saying: “but my parents, friends, teachers and classmates all loved my film!” Look… I’m sure some of them did, just as I’m certain that some of them just don’t have the gonads to tell you they thought it sucked. But beyond that… remember that you’re making these films inside a little room… Imagine animation as a big apartment (i.e., flat). Everyone is working away in their own little space… own little world… often oblivious to what is going on in other rooms near or far from them. Your film might very well be the best in your school, co-op, or studio, but you are just ONE little room among 1,700 or so other rooms filled with people all thinking the same thing.
And PLEASE (I’ve written this before somewhere) DO NOT start harping on about your film being accepted at the Golden Squirrel Short Film Day in Portland, Ontario. I’m not trying to slag these festivals but they ARE NOT getting the same pool of animation that we are getting. Same goes for the big live-action festivals. That’s fantastic that your film got into Montreal, Venice, Cannes, etc.…but that these festivals again receive a limited number of animation entries… so don’t get all huffy and puffy because you got fondled at Cannes and rejected in Ottawa (or Annecy for that matter).
Congratulations, you made the cut.
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Dear animation Gimp,
You sir, are a douche-bag.
I would like to formally thank your parents for wasting everyone's time. But i'm guessing they have long since left this world, after the realisation of what they both created sunk deep into their concious.
I've produced shit more amiable. Every time I flush one such specimen down the drain, I can't help the feeling of chagrin I get, when I think that it should be YOU in that toilet, waiting for the inevitable journey to your smelly, moist demise.
p.s.
I am not a disgruntled animator, who's work was rejected. Nor am I a friend/relation/teacher of one such person. But after stumbling upon your various 'criticisms' of Aleksandr Petrov, I strove to find at least 1 aspect of your personality I thought was justified. Every criticism you have, presents itself as a personal hatred of the artist in question.
You are the person who needs perspective, your snide remarks only serve to belittle others, while raising yourself on a shit covered pedestal. I'm not saying, that Petrov is the best artist in the world, and quite frankly some of your points were almost agreeable. However your delivery of these points, is despicable.
I'm afraid, even this obsessed tirade of sarcastic hints and tips, to help separate the best from the rest, only drives home the image of a douche-bag
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