Some clients are double-mouthed and will say the opposite of what they’re really thinking.

It’s time once again to decipher client lingo when you travel through the treacherous land of business. Here at Mind Your Business, we pride ourselves on speaking fluent client. It’s a difficult language to pick up at first. At times, it’s like listening to records backwards to hear what they really mean.

When you travel into the dangerous territory of Clientsville, you should take along your handy-dandy Mind Your Business: Client to English Translation Guide. You could end up in some bad areas of town if you simply listen to client directions and assume what they tell you is true.

In fact, after having gotten lost in the state of Perpetual Production a few times, I can tell you that what clients say and what they mean are often opposite of each other. I’m not saying they do this intentionally, I just implying it strongly to protect my career.

So put your project car in gear, fold up your map, set the cruise control and follow us along the Highway of Understanding.

Here at the first exit you will be told, “I have no ego.” We’ve discussed this one before, but it’s worth mentioning again as this is the most treacherous and pothole filled road you can drive down. Your destination on this exit definitely has a large ego. Drive carefully and keep your hazards on.

At the next exit we are likely to hear, “I have no imagination.” This is normally heard during the development phase and the client is trying to tell you that you will make all the creative choices. Make sure you ask directions at this exit. Your client has already imagined quite a few things regarding your project and either thinks you are a mindreader or wants to creatively run the project while making you think all the ideas are yours. As long as you understand the directions your trip should be an easy one.

At mile marker 9 is exit 6A, a treacherous road where you may think it’s good to hear “I trust you to make the right decision.” Don’t let this apparently trusting statement fool you; trust has nothing to do with it. This comment always follows a disagreement between you and your client. What they really mean is, “I don’t believe you or trust your choice, but I’ll let you try it to prove I’m wrong. But I still think I’m right.” The good news is, at least, they are willing to take a look at your concept. Just drive carefully.

Exit 6B may seem to be very close to the previous turn, but the client’s direction is a bit different. When you hear, “I’m going to leave this totally up to you,” don’t make the mistake of not discussing every aspect of the production and getting full approvals along the way with your client. They will normally guide your work with the concepts they already have, but they want you to feel good about your input. This is not really bad at all as long as you don’t complete the project while leaving your client blind.