No LAAF-ing Matter
Every cartoon character we know and love has some sort of defining feature or visual signature that is simply not replicable by a human actor, at least not without making that actor look hideous and malformed. Because of their unique appearance, these are the primary pictures we carry around in our minds when we think about a given character or cartoon. Try this: Close your eyes and visualize Barney Rubble. How many of you saw a mental picture of Rick Moranis? Sure you did. To make matters worse, the human actors called upon to portray animated characters are typically well-known to us, removing them even a step further from credibility. Take, for example, the upcoming Scooby Doo movie: The part of Daphne will be played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, whom, I believe, has a rather popular role elsewhere in the entertainment world. When she shows up on screen she looks only like herself, and thus we are deprived of the fantasy (if not recognition of the "way kewl!" casting coup).
Separated at birth? The real Barney and Rick Moranis as the character's alter ego.


© and TM 2002 Cartoon Network and Hanna-Barbera Productions.
Photo by Ron Batzdorff. © 2001 Universal Studios. All rights reserved.
Finally, I am beginning to doubt that any studio executive truly cares about bringing animated cartoons to life. What they do know is that animation, especially retro animation, is hot right now and that means massive profits through merchandising and tie-ins. The goofy Great Dane and crew have never been more popular than they are now, nor have as many licensed items bearing their likenesses been available. The movie is a natural consequence of this popularity. How else to explain the Scooby Doo movie? It is irrelevant, I suppose, that Freddie Prinze Jr., a Latino, has been cast as Alan and sports a bleached-blond do over his swarthy features. Who cares that Matthew Lillard has been cast as pal Shaggy? Anyone following the record knows that these lads of limited talents had major roles in sinking at least two of the wretched films they co-starred in (bombing in Wing Commander and booting the ball in Summer Catch). Did anyone in casting notice that the film's publicity stills show Linda Cardellini's Velma to be taller than Sarah Michelle Gellar's Daphne? Or that the film sports a CGI Scooby that resembles a failed experiment by Rick Baker? Does it matter that the script was reportedly a slipshod mess? I probably need not mention that director Raja Gosnell and writers James Gunn and Craig Titley have as much experience with animation as they do designing nuclear submarines. Why must studios continue to do this when there are so many experienced animation writers and directors available? Seemingly half of Disney has been laid off, and this is the best talent that Warner could hire?
Integrity?
Scooby Doo the Movie: The Classic Cartoon Slayer?


© Warner Bros. All Rights Reserved.
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Few of the writers and directors involved in LAAFs are (or ever have been) involved in animation. Most of them have experience in the typical, formulaic Hollywood product and either write their scripts or direct accordingly. Case in point: Bill Cosby is working on the Fat Albert script, but the co-author is a telefilm writer named Charles Kipps. Directing this farce is Forest Whitaker, who at present has two films to his credit: Waiting to Exhale and Hope Floats (two lightweight romantic comedies which would have played better on Lifetime television had there not been a fortune spent on the stars). His animation credits: Zero. Doubtless we shall soon discover another substance that floats even better than Hope, though considerably less fragrant.























That's really thinking out of the box. Tahkns!
Fell out of bed feeling down. This has brightneed my day!
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