Readers killed Atomic Betty even before they saw the pilot! © Atomic Cartoons 2001.

Atomic Betty (3/18/02): So I try and write a piece about a show in production, and half the respondents blow it out of the water before it even has a pilot! It used to take studio executives to do that...

mcdiddy obrien (MIDNIGHT SPECIAL, t.o.): "This looks like a couple of chimps threw together the power puff girls and dexters lab and shat it back out."

dawk mc farlane (Stone Clonez Studios): "tisk, tisk, tisk...how SAD, to see this article...if those people only knew ...how bad a concept they have developed...i have developed over 200 characters-single-handedly, for my project and I can literally...KICK ASS on this...'crap' everyone calls the best concept."

Jimmy Meat Characters (Mangrove Anime, Sarasota, Florida): "Dawk is right...his skill at sculpting meat into characters is truly a unique gift...we have a show called Meat Characters about a little meat boy named Maximum Meat Monroe...Dawk, if you're reading this...we'll sign you on ASAP, Baby!"

I find myself wondering, guys, if you have refrigerated sets and follow established USDA guidelines for the safe handling of meat. Germs are everywhere, y'know. Anyway, I have a proposition for you: Let's go into business together! After you finish filming, let's take your characters, grill 'em and sell 'em to the public with a choice of toppings. Our venture could be a cross between collecting original production art and scarfing down a good meal. Whaddya say, guys? While you decide, I'll take a Monroe, medium well, side of onions. All kidding aside, here's hoping you steak your claim in the animation business and meat with success.

Thomas Reed (TOON Magazine, Orlando, Florida): "As the entertainment business is now owned by about five megacorps, small animation companies are becoming desperate. People who might be comrades a few years ago are starting to backstab each other...Slamming each other in the hope that you'll sell your project before the other guy is fatal to the creative spirit. It's also no good for your soul (or, if you'd like a less loaded word, your peace of mind)."

Blessed are the peacemakers, Thomas, and Amen to that (or, if you'd like a less loaded statement, You'll be a much happier human being if you grant any studio the right to freely create projects without taking nasty cracks at them, and that's a fact, Jack).

And The Winner Is... (9/21/01): An imaginary history of the Academy Awards. At least I think it was...

Sandee Chamberlain (Pencil Milage Club, CSUF Chapter, Cal State University Fullerton): "Don Bluth's animated film Secret of NIMH -- should have been awarded an Oscar."

Jarle Bernsten (Freelance, Norway): "I think not mentioning the 1982 Don Bluth film The Secret of NIMH is quite outrageous..."

Thomas Reed (Tom Reed's Off-Model/TOON Magazine, Orlando, Florida): "Sadly, my friend, you missed a few points. There would be no rivalry between anime and American animation since in the Oscars all foreign films compete in the 'Foreign Film' categories."

People, people! This was an imaginary history! Akira never won an Oscar, and Robert Mitchum was never really kicked in the ass by an animated horse (All right, wink, wink!). Although in the past I have chided some of Bluth's films, this gentleman is a true artist and has given the utmost effort on every film he's ever done. Therefore, I am going to honor your requests and award the 1983 Academy Award for Best Animated Film to The Secret of NIMH. I am also revoking the awards of all anime winners I listed in the article. Now for the bad news. Changing history has set off a terrible chain of events attributable to the vagaries of chaos theory: Pat Buchanan is now President, Communist Russia is firmly entrenched throughout Western Europe, Kirsten Dunst was never born, and the Cubs are World Series champs. See? See what you made me do?