Dr. Toon: Loose Ends
In this particular film, one can see the process being refined. There is, for example, wonderful coordination between Janeane Garafalo as Collette Tatou and the animators who put the character on screen in the scene where Collette disses her unwelcome "protege." Dialogue, emotion, and facial expression merge perfectly in this well-paced scene. This is as close to acting as CGI has come thus far. Yet, the characters still retain a sense of caricature, thus avoiding the eerie depictions seen in The Polar Express, or the unreal simulacrums of Final Fantasy.
On the other hand, there is a subtle disconnect between voice artist and animator in the scene where Linguni attempts to give an inspirational speech to his less-than-enthusiastic staff on the eve of Anton Ego's dreaded visit to Gasteau's. The acting does not quite seem to match the fumbling desperation expressed by Lou Romano. Romano's command of inflection here appears to overwhelm the actions and expressions of the animated character on screen. No doubt in my mind, however, that the synergy will continue to grow until Pixar, or another skilled production studio, is presenting acting, with humanoid characters, that is as convincing as any done in a live-action film. Stay tuned.
Oh, Bee Serious These tiresome, blood-soaked tirades, designed to turn children into vessels of living hate, are not worthy even of Hamas. Kids should hate innocuous things, like broccoli, boy bands, and lousy Wii games, not other human beings. To paraphrase Pink Floyd: "Hey! Mullah! Leave those kids alone!" As nasty as Internet bullying and sniping on MySpace can get, at least kids aren't turned into living minesweepers (as in the Iran-Iraq war), and they don't self-detonate in a crowded marketplace full of innocents.
Enough is enough. Jihadists, go to the negotiating table. Work through diplomats. Teach, and strive towards, peace with the other five billion inhabitants of the planet, and hope that they are willing to do the same, for once in our bloody mutual histories. Forget these stupid children's mascots and their onerous, deadly exhortations. A world full of martyred corpses is a sadder world, not a better world. No mouse, bee, camel, or aardvark will ever make a dead child -- or nation -- look more appealing.
Quest for Failure Well, for the better part of a decade I have been cautioning studios to stop accepting scripts that turn animated series into live-action films. Despite their woeful track records and the deadly reviews that these films draw, they make them again and again. True, there were one or two that made at least their costs back with a few shekels to spare, but on the whole there have been more Fat Alberts than George of the Jungles.
There are always the same problems: scripts done by inexperienced writers that have barely worked in animation (if at all), directors who don't know the difference between live-action and animated filmic conventions (and don't much care), and a cartoon subject that may be the fave of the fanboy writer, but would struggle mightily to relate to general audiences as a live-action feature. Then, there's the problem of making the actors look and behave like their animated counterparts, but I've covered this ground before.
A brief follow-up to last month's column: Farfour the mouse may be dead, but the jihad goes on. Replacing the martyred rodent is Nahoul the bee, aka some Hamas actor suspended from a wire in the Al-Asqa studio. This six-foot refugee from a Palestinian apiary claims to be Farfour's cousin (genetic engineering is apparently very advanced in Gaza) and vows to continue on "the path of heroism, the path of martyrdom, the path of jihad warriors." Nahoul is more than a host for cartoons or a pitchman for chocolate-flavored falafel; he swears "revenge on the enemies of Allah, the murderers of the prophets."
My mother didn't name me Cassandra, and I'm rather glad for it. However, I have been acting much like her over the past decade. Cassandra, it will be recalled, was an unfortunate lass of ancient myth who was blessed with the power of prophecy, but was also cursed, since it was fated that no one would ever believe her. Cassandra was thus doomed to stand by and watch a number of train wrecks happen despite her dire warnings.
Nobody learns from Josie and the Pussycats or The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, do they? Nobody gets the lessons of Thunderbirds are Go! or Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. These movies are putrid. They don't work. They don't have an audience. They...oh, never mind, it's Jonny Quest's turn. Earlier this month Warner Bros. announced production of a Jonny Quest live-action film. Let's go through the drill again, shall we?
Printer-friendly version
Post new comment