And The Winner Is...

Ged Bauer reviews "the ultimate library of animated web graphics."
Posted In | Columns: Dr. Toon

1988: Don Bluth's hopes for a second Oscar are shattered when The Land Before Time comes up short against the Disney/Amblin masterpiece Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. Bluth, taking this one hard, places a curse on the committee: they will live to see a hundred musical sequels to his film.

1989: The Little Mermaid defeats Lensman and Twilight of the Cockroaches, but...

1990: ...Akira takes the Oscar this year, and the American-Japanese animation rivalry kicks into gear.

1993: The plot thickens, and it's time to take anime seriously: My Neighbor Totoro edges The Nightmare Before Christmas for the Oscar, and screaming factions of animation fans become the highlight of every Academy Awards show: "U-S-A!" "A-ni-ME!"

1995: Toy Story becomes the first all-CGI film to take an Oscar home, winning out over On The Wings Of Honneamise. "U-S-A!"

1996: Ghost in the Shell rings Quasimodo's bell. Oscar goes back to Japan. "A-ni-ME!"

1997: Warner's Cats Don't Dance is everybody's dark horse, and in some of the rumor mills the cat is out of the bag that Oscar is in the bag. However, Warner neglects to send the screening committee any promotional goodies, PR materials or even a print of the film. The screening committee frantically runs out to local theaters to view Cats Don't Dance, but the lack of publicity for the film has already killed it. Warner officials issue a statement that Cats Don't Dance actually does exist, but it's too late. Weeping with frustration, the committee hands the Oscar to Disney's Hercules.

1998: DreamWorks SKG sends Antz up against A Bug's Life, and the antz go marching to defeat. Jeffrey Katzenberg swears to the press that in the near future he'll wrest that Oscar from his former employer: "I can get as mean as an ogre and as stubborn as a mule! Saaay...that gives me an idea...!"

1999: Warner's The Iron Giant is everybody's dark horse, and in some of the rumor mills...um...haven't we been here before? Tarzan is a controversial winner over Princess Mononoke, but an animated Eric Cartman steals the show when he touts South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut as "Way f***** better than any of these s***-ass movies! Suck my ****, Oscar!," when the film's nomination is announced.

Sixty-four years have passed without this much fun, but there is no doubt that from now on the entertainment world can look forward to a lively tussle whenever the Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film is at stake. Although my account of Oscars past is a facetious one, the rivalries between Disney and DreamWorks, between studios and independents, and the race for box office supremacy between anime and American animation should guarantee excitement for years to come. As animation evolves through CGI, motion-capture, VR and holography, the stakes can only be raised. I for one am looking forward to cheering on my favorites every year. Perhaps one day, if my wildest dreams come true, I'll even get to be a presenter. Standing there in my tux, the fateful envelope in hand, I look out over an eager audience. Sitting there in the first few rows are the Hopefuls, each one convinced that their animated film is one of the best ever made. I glance at the TelePrompTer, and then back the crowd, who have suddenly, inexplicably turned into a horde of sneering gingerbread men...will they ever let me live this down?

Martin "Dr. Toon" Goodman is a longtime student and fan of animation. He lives in Anderson, Indiana.







Comments


I think not mentioning the 1982 Don Bluth movie "The Secret of Nimh" is quite outragous, as it's widely regarded as one of the best, if not the best, full length animated feature of all time. I don't think there's any doubt that it's Don Bluth's best film. Other than that, keep up the good work!
Jarle Berntsen (not verified) | Sat, 09/29/2001 - 00:00 | Permalink
Sadly, my friend, you missed a few points. There would be no rivalry between anime and American animation, since in the Oscars all foreign films compete under the "Foreign Film" categories. "Mononoke" would have to compete against Czech dramas, Italian Westerns and Irish musicals in that one little category. Also, some of the films you mentioned didn't get theatrical releases. If I recall correctly, "Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer" was a video presentation you could customize by having your child's picture inserted in the video. The late Gene Siskel used his face in this, when the video was reviewed. Also, did "Transformers: The Movie" really get a theatrical release? It must've been about fifteen minutes long...
Thomas Reed (not verified) | Fri, 09/28/2001 - 00:00 | Permalink

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