And The Winner Is...

Ged Bauer reviews "the ultimate library of animated web graphics."
Posted In | Columns: Dr. Toon

1955: The Oscar comes down to a contest between Halas and Batchelor's Animal Farm and Disney's Lady and the Tramp. When the Disney film is awarded the Oscar, the losers storm the stage and attempt the overthrow of all human presenters. Order is restored, but not before a deeply embedded horseshoe is removed from the posterior of presenter Robert Mitchum.

1962: The first anime Oscar winner goes to Toei Production's The Adventures of Sinbad, which outpoints UPA's Gay Purr-ee. Chuck Jones, who wrote the screenplay for the runner-up, is given a consolation prize; Contents: One Acme Do- It-Yourself Oscar Kit.

1965: The Oscar screening committee desperately tries to find prints of the three obscure nominees: The Man From Button Willow, Willy McBean and His Magic Machine and Pinocchio in Outer Space. They find Button Willow first, playing at a Saturday matinee in Terre Haute, Indiana. The Oscar is awarded on the spot.

1969: Mad Monster Party is the first stop-motion winner of the Oscar.

1970: What do you know? That Acme kit really worked! Chuck Jones takes home an Oscar for The Phantom Tollbooth on his way to collecting every honor that animation can bestow.

1972: And the winner is...Fritz the Cat! Runner-up Bill Melendez (Snoopy Come Home) vows that his next animated Peanuts opus will feature a lap dance.

1975: Ralph Bakshi's Coonskin is this year's winner. A record is set for the Longest Disclaimer Prior to the Presentation of an Oscar in the history of the prestigious awards. Mr. Bakshi -- and his golden statuette -- are discreetly escorted through a rear exit by security forces as the disclaimer drones on.

1979: A storm of protest arises when the Oscar goes to The Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner Movie. Runners-up Rankin-Bass (Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July) charge that the Warner movie is made up of previously used animation, and that the characters...uhhh...hmmm.

1981: Heavy Metal is the surprise winner over Disney's The Fox and the Hound. Disney Executive Director Ron Miller tells the press: "This is like, so totally bogus, dudes!"

1984: No Oscar is awarded this year. The committee, forced to screen Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer and Here Come the Littles, become comatose and cannot be revived in time to declare a winner. It is rumored that one poor member is today a ruined woman, doomed to a lifetime on anti-psychotic medication.

1985: John and Faith Hubley finally gain their due with The Cosmic Eye.

1986: Up for consideration are four product-based films: Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation; My Little Pony: The Movie; Go-Bots: Legend of the Rock Lord; and Transformers: The Movie. Oscar proves that he is no slave to commercialism when he falls into the arms of Don Bluth for An American Tail. An excited Bluth immediately announces the launching of a Bluth store, a Fievel's Follies water park and a chain of restaurants called Mrs. Brisby's Burgers.







Comments


I think not mentioning the 1982 Don Bluth movie "The Secret of Nimh" is quite outragous, as it's widely regarded as one of the best, if not the best, full length animated feature of all time. I don't think there's any doubt that it's Don Bluth's best film. Other than that, keep up the good work!
Jarle Berntsen (not verified) | Sat, 09/29/2001 - 00:00 | Permalink
Sadly, my friend, you missed a few points. There would be no rivalry between anime and American animation, since in the Oscars all foreign films compete under the "Foreign Film" categories. "Mononoke" would have to compete against Czech dramas, Italian Westerns and Irish musicals in that one little category. Also, some of the films you mentioned didn't get theatrical releases. If I recall correctly, "Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer" was a video presentation you could customize by having your child's picture inserted in the video. The late Gene Siskel used his face in this, when the video was reviewed. Also, did "Transformers: The Movie" really get a theatrical release? It must've been about fifteen minutes long...
Thomas Reed (not verified) | Fri, 09/28/2001 - 00:00 | Permalink

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