Is this the face of an Oscar winner? Could be! © DreamWorks Pictures.

Since 1937, animated films have made millions of dollars and charmed an equal number of moviegoers. Eleven of the top 100 box office grosses of all time belong to animated films and the genre has exploded since the late 1980s. Only now has the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences seen it fit to hand out Oscars for "Best Animated Feature Film." This begs the question: What took so long? One would think that after Beauty and the Beast nearly humbled Hannibal Lechter in 1992 the Academy would have put a few guidelines in the storyboard stage, but the process took nearly a decade. When one looks at the defining rules -- 70 minutes running time, a significant number of the major characters to be animated, and animation evident for at least 75% of the film's running time -- it is difficult to fathom why they weren't developed earlier. Ah well, better late than never. What film will take that seminal Oscar home? On whose mantelpiece shall the cel-ebratory statuette stand? What title shall follow the stark pause after the catchphrase "And the winner is..." sets countless silicone-enhanced breasts heaving with anticipation on Oscar night? Don't ask me, people. I'm the brilliant prognosticator who told you that Shrek would peter out before it made $30 million. I can't even walk into a bakery without being heckled by pans of gingerbread men.

Still, what if...what if the Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film had been awarded since 1937? What a rich tradition animated films would have had! Well, wonder no longer, my long-suffering readers; this month we will go back in time to take a look at the drama, the triumph, the tragedy, and the cupidity that is...the Oscars. Cue the tape, dim the lights, and -- get those gingerbread men out of here! Why must they taunt me so?

1937: The first Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film goes to Walt Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. In order to create an actual competition, Paul Terry was allowed to edit thirteen Farmer Al Falfa cartoons into a 90-minute film. It was not much of a contest.

1941: When Disney's Dumbo was nominated for an Oscar against the Fleischer's Mr. Bug Goes to Town, the latter studio attempted to disqualify their rival by pointing out that Dumbo ran only 64 minutes. Disney countered by having Howard Swift and some assistants add an extra seven minutes to the "Pink Elephants on Parade" sequence. The new sequence, entitled "Nude Pink Elephants A Go-Go," was a tremendous hit with the screening committee, who awarded the film the Oscar. The sequence was then cut before general release and hidden away where Charles Solomon and John Grant would never, ever find it.

1949: Disney's The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad beats out The Magic Horse, an entry from the USSR. A rabble-rousing young senator from Wisconsin named Joseph McCarthy demands to know how a Russian film was nominated in the first place, a comment that draws the attention of the House Un-American Activities Committee. At last it can be told; the secret origin of the infamous Hollywood blacklist.