Notes from the Underground Part Three — Drawing, Without Knowing (Or, The Art in the Doodle)
Yet, and this is very significant, the painters that were identified as the greatest (Rembrandt, Vélasquez, Vermeer, Chardin, Cézanne, just to name a few) were not always respecting the "norms" of that theory ("solid objects existing in empty space").
In fact, it became increasingly evident that the more "potent" the paintings, the more they seemed to not respect the "rules."
Trying to emulate those successful paintings by applying a "style" was mildly successful, but always felt "off," and was obviously not the way to go, nor seemed to be the way "they" (the painters I was studying) had gone.
No matter how much I twisted the possibilities available in the "solid object in empty space" world view, I always came out with works that were very short of what those painters had obviously made available, and that they made available in a very consistent manner.
Either I trusted "my" perception as guided by my naive faith in this "objective world," and always ended up with drawings and paintings that were very trite, or I manipulated those images that were made possible by my reliance on the "objective-world" model and came up with works that may have seemed more "interesting," but which were, to me, lies, fabrications, and very much at odds with what got me to study art in the first place (call it a search for truth, for meaning, for "self," the Holy Grail, whatever).
Surely, based on the impact of my experience of some of the better Rembrandts, and such, there had to be more to Art than that!
There had to be (an)other way(s).
Another Point of View
This seemed to happen more and more frequently, the more I tried to "capture" the visible, the more I would fail, or, if "successful," the more disappointed I would be with the results.
I was becoming very confused, and unfortunately I did not (yet) trust that confusion.
That's when I met a great teacher, Joseph Louis, who held one of the keys for which I was looking.
Joseph deeply believed that our perception held keys to Art, and that what we needed to do was to become able to "see the visible in terms of abstraction" ("voir le visible en termes d'abstrait").
With his competent help, I (and quite a few other students) became more able to focus on that which did not behave according to the "solid objects in empty space" model, and to follow all the openings ("passages") I was exposed to all the time but kept on editing out because they did not conform to the societal model.
Very quickly, this approach made us realize that we had a lot more in common with the likes of Rembrandt, Vermeer and so many others than we originally suspected, and that the depth of their work was not based on a greater theoretical knowledge and skills (like "exceptional talent" or "super tricks") but instead was rooted in a greater connection with their own particular perception.
The realization that Art was not at the end of knowledge forever changed our relation to Art and, of course, to school.
Joseph Louis introduced us to the work of Alberto Giacometti, and that is when I realized that the kind of "failure to draw/paint what I saw" was not my problem alone; I could see in Giacometti's works the very same experiences, though with a huge difference: unlike me, he was accepting that constant failure, and was in effect riding it the way one rides a wave.
Camus' "the failure shall be the measure of success" came to mean something to me finally!
We also could sense that those deeper modes of perception were available to us as well, though they would require much work (and luck?) if we were to ever be connected with them in a meaningful way.
This is a point at which a choice needs to be made, where in fact a choice *is* being made, by each and every one of us, each and every time we work: "Rembrandt or South Park?"
Much of what I dislike in habitual animation is born in and from a world that remains very short of this search, it almost exclusively wallows in what is done when this search for "truth" is kept silent, when the choice I talk about is made, but made in the same manner one sweeps dirt under the carpet.
Embracing this search is no guarantee of success, far from it, this opens doors to paradoxes and dilemmas that can be, and often are, very painful.
I recall a comment Picasso made when he put an end to the work he did with Braque. He had been painting with Braque for a couple of years, years during which he , in my opinion, painted his very best work ever. He said: "To continue to paint like that, I would have had to live like a monk."
Invariably, when working "from the visible," I would have moments during which none of what I was seeing made (habitual) sense, and during which my (traditional) way of drawing was terribly inadequate.























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