Illustration by Andreas Hykade. Courtesy of Chris Robinson.

Greetings from St. Helena

"Every festival organization should have the freedom to choose their options, philosophy and ideas which make the festival different and SPECIAL, exactly what festival visitors, filmmakers, buffs and fans are looking for! How uninteresting if every festival was looking for Annecy or Zagreb. It would not be worthwhile neither to participate nor to visit."

-- ASIFA Board of Directors: Comments on the Toronto '84 Animation Festival

Yeah... sure... for the most part... the opinions of the Pimp are also those of the Ottawa Animation Festival's Artistic Director. I don't apologize for that. Although not many folks think I should, one rapacious crankbag blasted me (as festival director) in a (Pimp) comment space last summer because... umm... not sure why actually... I guess it was because her friends' films weren't being accepted into Ottawa competitions anymore and she felt that, as the Napoleon of festival directors, it was my intention to deprive her friends (whomever THEY are) of a screen in Ottawa theatres. I was flush with pride. At long last someone who sees the layers of empathy dripping from the pores of my flesh, a peasant who recognizes the power and sway of a GREAT festival director. Hurfugginrah! They actually believe that I have spent day and night carefully examining each of these so-called artists' films, while conducting extensive background checks into each so-called artist's psychological, academic, criminal and sexual history. Once I had carefully narrowed down the list of so-called artists, I then set out to find a feckless Selection Committee who would unconsciously succumb to my dastardly demands... or die. Failing that, I had Plan B: seduce them with liquor, opium, goat photos and whores. Once the committee was 'convinced,' these so-called artists would NEVER EVER see the light of the screens in MY kingdom!

Alas, tis a dream, a wonderful dream, but nevertheless merely a candy-coated imagining from the lands of pillows. In truth I am little more than a self-loathing, barely educated, poorly organized procrastinator whose idea of empathy, generosity and socializing routinely involves proper palm placement during self-loving to ensure maximum effect.