Pamela Kleibrink Thompson

Networking is a vital career skill. But there are rules to follow. One of the most important is don't be a networking leech. Do not suck the lifeblood out of your network.

Most people who worry about being too network aggressive usually have a long way to go before being labeled networking parasites. But some cross the line. If any of these people sounds like you, it's not too late to change.

Here are a few real life examples of networking leeches that were shared by friends.

A girl I met at a party immediately demanded to know the address and contact information of my employer as soon as she found out I was working. I did not even know her.

Then there was the guy who pumped me for information very pointedly every time he saw me and constantly e-mailed me seeking job leads.

A woman I met at an industry meeting spent the next four years crashing my networks like a bull in a china shop. She shoved herself crudely on my bosses at parties, latched onto every new contact on LinkedIn announcing herself as my friend and claiming to be "highly recommended" by me, and every time I introduced her to someone, her first sentence was, "My friend told me you were looking for someone with strong Photoshop skills. I worked at Disney, you know." I finally cut her off. She was making me look bad to my network.

One woman imposed herself insisting I bring her to a wrap party for the show I worked on, and then embarrassed me and the host by hitting up every person there for work.

Here are some simple ways you can avoid being a networking nightmare.

The basic principle of networking is that you have to give first. Contribute when you can, take when you must. Always think about what you can do for your network, not what you can get from your network.

Building a Network Takes Time and Effort
Creating a network is a long term commitment to building strong, mutually beneficial relationships. If you are a student, begin with the other students at your school, your teachers, and some alumni. You can be a source of information for those who have graduated and want news of their old school. Once you are working, you can be a source to your teachers and the other students at your school about who is working, what it's like on your first job, and who might be hiring.

Work on making yourself more valuable to your network by being a source of information. For networking to work you need to have something the other person wants.

Great Networkers Really Like People
To be a good networker, you have to be genuinely interested in people. You have to care about them. You have to recognize that you are not the center of the universe and that others have needs that you might be able to help with. When you meet someone find out what he is interested in and passionate about. Do your best to help him in the areas that can benefit him. Think about how you can benefit him rather than how he can help you. To borrow from President Kennedy --ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for them. Start building relationships by helping others.

Networks Need Nurturing
To grow your network you must nurture it, just like a farmer nurtures his crops. You must first plant seeds and nurture and care for those seeds for a long time with much effort and work. Some of those seeds will blossom into relationships which you can then harvest. Some of them will require much nurturing and some will never sprout. It takes time to grow a crop and it takes time to build relationships.

You never know how your networking might help you in the future, but you have to have plenty of seeds planted before you discover the bounty of your harvest.

You must develop relationships with people before requesting a referral or recommendation and you must always be prepared to return the favor. Do not be too anxious to take advantage of whatever another person has to offer.