There are a lot of things that can stand in the way of your career. One of the most damaging but easiest to correct is shyness. If you are unable to communicate who you are or what you do, you will not be able to take advantage of opportunities that come to you.

I used to be horribly shy. My mother made a deal with me when I went to college. I had to meet two new people a day. That's a pretty easy goal to reach when you are going to a college where you know absolutely no one. So I agreed to her challenge. It was really easy the first few weeks. Every day that I met two new people was a personal accomplishment. The funny thing was, I started to like trying to meet that goal. I made it my own. I made it into a game. After a few months it became a habit.

After I graduated from college and moved to Los Angeles, I had a new challenge -- to find a job. But I didn't know anyone except those people I went to school with, including my roommate. So I gave myself a goal -- to call two people a day. I had to do it before lunch. My heart pounding, I phoned a woman my aunt had referred me to. I was sweating even though it was not hot. I stammered as I heard the reluctance in her voice but I finally managed to mention my aunt's name.

The woman's defensiveness melted away as she asked about my aunt, who was an old friend. I learned then that connections make a difference -- who you know does matter -- and it isn't bad to use someone's name when you make a call, if you have their permission to do so. At first, I thought I was using people, but that is part of the networking game. Phone calls are still not easy for me, even though they are an essential part of my job and I still have to prepare mentally to do them.

Recognizing Shyness
Shyness pops up at moments of high social pressure. It's called situational shyness. Shy people are excessively self-conscious. About 33% of the population is shy in any social setting.

Here are five ways to overcome timidity that worked for me and they can work for you.

The ABCDE's Of Overcoming/Dealing With Shyness:
Arrive early if you are going to a party or meeting. Make it a game at a party or meeting to meet five new people. To join a conversation already in progress, listen in a bit first. When there's a lull, ask a question about the topic being discussed that requires someone to answer you. If after a few minutes, you still feel out of place, move on to another group.

Begin a conversation. Say hello and make a remark on your shared environment, even if it's something like, "I'm surprised at how many people came to this meeting. Have you been to one of these before?" If you are at a party, ask how the person knows the host. Throw out questions to see if you can find something in common to discuss: "Do you live in this part of town?" "Did you grow up here?" If not, "How long have you lived here?" Eventually you will find something of mutual interest and begin a real conversation.

Concentrate on the other person. My husband likes to emulate a television host who seems sincerely intrigued by the person he is speaking with, no matter what the topic. This attitude is engaging both to the interviewee as well as the viewers of the show. My husband uses the TV host's technique whenever he meets someone new and learns all kinds of fascinating information. When you focus on the other person, you can't be self-conscious or shy.

Don't wait for someone to talk to you. If you find someone who is off by themselves, talk with him or her. Introducing yourself shows the other person that you're interested in getting to know her or him and want her/him to feel comfortable.

Events are a good place to practice overcoming shyness. I discovered that by volunteering, I'm so busy helping out that I don't have a chance to be shy. And, of course, I meet other volunteers and get into the event for free.