The Animation Pimp: Long Live Tits

What's wrong with Ring of Fire and Night of the Carrots? The Animation Pimp sees nothing offensive here; when this month Chris Robinson takes on a few feminist nay-sayers.

Illustration by Andreas Hykade.Courtesy of Chris Robinson.

"Long Live Tits"

Yo, yo, yo ladies.Da pimp is heremakin' wit da mouth.Ya know what I am sayin'.

Been hearin' some yappin''bout couple o' films:Ring of Fire and Night of the Carrots.

Seems you honeys bethinkin' they be crappin' on ya all.Making da ladies look bad.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Dat makes da pimp mad.He don't like no rain from da honeys.Less it involves cork poppin'.Rather be mackin' than yappin'.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Okay...y'all listen up.Carrots got a few ladies:that salivin' elevator button,a big titty waitress,a yappin' German eggand da fat kid's mom.

View a clip of Night of the Carrots directed by Priit Parn. © EESTI Joonisfilm. 320X240 | 160X1

Don't understand da problem ladies.All da men be biscuit arsed smack offs.They be huddled away in rooms with nothin' but fantasies.What u see of da ladies is nuttin' but views through the eyes of cave men.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Seems dat feminism gone so far dat no one be 'llowed to say shit 'bout no woman.Don't seem right if ya ask me.'Sides...how many fuggin' German speakin' sister eggs do ya know?Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Da imagined, desired world ya all are dreamin' of, don't exist.Not sayin' it shouldn't -- cause da pimp got nuttin' but lovin' for all ya sweets --but ya all be dreamin'. Dis here film be showin' da world for what it is, not what it should be.Da man all be IDIOTS. Don't hear da men 'plainin.''Sides...there be stupid MEN and stupid WOMEN.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Main man Diego don't do nuttin'. Bloody fool dat's all.Time ya hardboileds stop confusin' your reality with da others.Ain't no one reality ladies and be time ya stop tinkin' 'cause just ain't so.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

As with the Fire film.From da get go, this guy Hykade is da BOMB.'Side the Uke and Estonian, he is king of da cartoons right now.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

View the trailer for Ring of Fire directed by Andreas Hykade. © Gambit.

Okay...da film. Listen up.Two guys headin' to some fuggin' Fellini with Dante world o' bends.Is it hell? Dunno...seems plenty nice ta me.These two fellas just be trying to bone and get their groove on.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Turns out though that da man we be callin' HERO,ain't nothin' but a low-down lady beatin' mutha' fuggah.Da man we usually be laffin' at á là Walter Brennan be da real man.He be lookin fo' da love like Chef, not Ike.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Man who be treatin' da ladies right get himself some love and some bustin'.

'Gain not sure what da problem is.Some dancing women.Some chicks waxin' on each other messin' with da tongues.A chick munching anuther.Why sex be sexism?Merely a view within the minds of two lost souls.Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Ya all need to open up...Some pages of dat dead bald French guy's book The History of Sexuality. No pictures. Won't be gettin' ya off.But damn if it don't help all ya repressed folks understand da ways of sexuality.Ya know what I'm saying.

If sexism be defined as the objectification or oppression of a gender by another gender,then don't see how these 2 films fit.If anyone bein' objects it's da crackers.They ill defined, fugged up creatures.Sure...the waitress, egg and elevator button be re/op-pressedBut shit, if ya axe me, everyone be messed up.

Ya know what I'm sayin'?

Hottie Animator o' da month

Ain't none of you. All that bitchin' 'bout two good films...forget about it. Instead da honour goes to a nice slice of Korean.

The Animation Pimp is brought to you by AAA Ladies from Shanghai serving the sensual needs of the animation community since August 2000.

The title is pinched from Rejean Ducharme's The Daughter of Christopher Columbus.

Join Chris now in the The Animation Café, a sort of anarchistic forum (or variety show if that sounds better) for debates, criticism and commentary about any and all aspects of animation, especially the art of animation (whatever that means). Plus, you can challenge his above rantings...

Chris Robinson is a writer, festival director, programmer, junky and doesn't give a shit about you. His hobbies include horseback riding, pudpulling, canoeing and goat thumping.

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